


The Shrike's Glorious Thorne

by vixwixandtix



Series: The Shrike's Glorious Thorne [1]
Category: Andrew Hozier-Byrne (Musician)
Genre: A little bit of angst, F/M, Fluff, I'm Sorry, Pegging, Smut, Someone had to write it, Tour Bus, but itll be fine i promise, except I'm not sorry, porn that turned into plot lol whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 07:28:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19194415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vixwixandtix/pseuds/vixwixandtix
Summary: So this started off as a fun lil pegging fic, and now it's like fifty pages and there's a whole plot....New Orleans native Marie Leara is on tour with Hozier. Things get rapidly out of hand.Featuring: band shenanigans, too much detail about whiskey, Suzanne Santo telling everyone to get their shit together, and my personal insistence that Andrew is a sub.





	1. Scarcely Can Speak For My Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> So this got super out of hand. It was supposed to be just a oneshot with an OC pegging Hozier because I'm a heathen, but now its more than 20 pages and definitely not done. I figured I'd post the first part and see if anyone would be interested in reading the whole thing. 
> 
> No actual pegging in this bit, I'm afraid.

The cool amber liquid was starting to help salve the thudding in her veins that always came post-performance. The flashing lights and screaming compounded onto the already complicated harmonies Marie sang into the microphone. Percussion was the one thing that came easy as breathing. Rhythm and blues influenced bands were like that; the beat vibrated into your soul, no matter what instrument was in your hands. Touring with Hozier was much larger scale than the bands Marie had always played in growing up, but if she closed her eyes it felt very much the same. Still, in the wake of playing a sold out show to thousands of people her nerves were shot and her pulse took nearly two hours to slow down. Rachel had told her that her first big shows were like that, too. The comedown after a show is always restless, and it takes awhile to adjust.

Despite the near vibration of everyone else on the bus, Andrew seemed to have mostly come down from where he sat. He usually crashed pretty quickly after shows, since he met with all the people who waited outside the venue. He seemed to truly love talking to each person, but clearly by the time he boarded the bus most of his adrenalyn had worn off while the rest of the band could barely stay contained. This is how the drinking after shows had begun. The idea wasn’t to get so trashed you’d feel off the next day, just to get enough energy out with mild shenanigans thinly veiled as bonding experiences. Andrew was good natured enough to play along most nights, although a bit quieter than the rest of the band. He mostly just sat, drink in hand, to laugh along with whatever Alex or Suzanne usually tried to instigate.

“Marie,” Alex singsonged, waving his hand slightly, “come back to us, love, it’s your turn.”

Marie blinked out of her reverie instantly and shrugged it off with a chuckle. She took a long sip of her drink, prompting ‘boo’s from the rest of the band. She considered herself an open book so she didn’t expect to be significantly drunk by the end of tonight’s game of truth or drink, but she didn’t want to admit that she hadn’t heard the actual question she was supposed to answer. They continued around the circle, everyone else saying a number and prompting laughter. Marie’s best guess was ‘how many people have you done some specific sex act with,’ given the responses. 

“Alright alright, my turn,” said Austin, sloshing his drink slightly. “What is one sexual thing that you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t?”

This prompted drunken giggling and shouting for a moment before Alex shushed everyone, having dedicated himself ringmaster of the evening apparently.

“Airplane sex, mate. I’m trying to join the mile high club, but the bathrooms are too fucking small,” Alex announced, which spawned drunken murmurs of agreement.

Cormac spoke up next. “I dunno, maybe a threesome? Not quite sure how the logistics of that work,” he said, which prompted three others to all shout over each other the exact mechanics of a threesome.

“I’d like to try being a domme,” said Suzanne once the ruckus died down, “Like full leather outfit and whips.” 

“Nice,” Marie and Rachel nodded in agreement.

Two people drank to ‘boo’s, and then Rachel, who was leaning slightly against Marie from where they sat on the steps, spoke up. 

“I’ve never had sex with a woman, would like to try that,” at which point everyone’s eyes swung to Marie, the resident bisexual of the touring group. She rolled her eyes slightly and refused to respond. Rachel was a beautiful woman, but Marie had done the straight girl thing. It never worked out well for anyone. Instead, she raised her glass.

“I’m kinda a fan of wearing a strap on during sex with women, so I’ve always wanted to try it with a man. So, I’m gonna say pegging is my answer,” as Marie said the last bit she happened to lock eyes with Andrew, who was sitting on the couch next to her. She hadn’t meant to see his reaction, but now that she had it was impossible to look away. She watched him draw in a breath and Marie could see his pupils expand just slightly. His tongue flicked into view just briefly to wet his lips. All involuntary reactions, but he still hadn’t looked away. Andrew made no attempt at all to hide his clear interest, to the point where Marie felt his gaze like a physical presence. His darkening eyes remained locked on Marie’s as Cody answered the question. Neither of them caught a word of whatever he said, too encompassed with the sudden electricity the crackled between them.

“Andy my boy, your turn,” called Alex, forcing the rest of the world into the space between them. Instead of giving an answer, Andrew raised his glass to his lips and took a slow sip without ever breaking eye contact with Marie. Ignoring the chorus of ‘boo’s this prompted, Marie took a slightly shaky breath, realizing that she hadn’t done so for a moment. 

Finally, their heady eye contact ended as Cody stood up from his space on the couch. He announced that he really needed to sleep and so did ‘the rest of you assholes’. Rachel and Cormac reluctantly agreed and wandered back to the bunks with him. 

“Alright, get some rest then, dickheads,” called Alex, tossing his legs over the side of his chair to strike up a conversation with Austin and Suzanne.

“You don’t have to sit up there,” Andrew caught Marie’s attention with a low voice. He indicated the spot between them that Cody had vacated and looked up at Marie through his eyelashes. Marie swallowed quietly as she felt the little calm she had achieved since the show leave her entirely.

Obviously, Andrew was upsettingly attractive. He was also famous and kind of her boss at this point. Marie wanted nothing more than to strap it on for those pretty eyes, but the odds of this being a good idea were not in her favor. Of course, Marie had never passed up the opportunity for a bad idea with a great story, and her luck hadn’t run out yet. She stood slowly from her position on the stairs and moved to the couch, sitting down just slightly closer to Andrew than she normally would have. The alcohol she had consumed gave her zero chill but plenty of confidence, which really is how all life altering decisions should be made.

Marie tossed her hair back over her shoulder to look up at Andrew’s face. She had still never quite gotten over how goddamn tall he was; it had to be inconvenient to live like that. She opened her mouth to ask a benign question about the show or how the meet up had gone, but before she could say anything Andrew laid his arm across the back of the couch and leaned closer.

“So pegging, yeah?” He said just above a whisper, clearly not interested in having the conversation picked up on by Alex, Aaron, and Suzanne. He arched an eyebrow slightly, but his eyes flicked back and forth, searching for a sign in Marie’s eyes to drop the subject. She startled for a moment, really not expecting him to be that forward right off the bat. He’d always come off just this side of shy and always very respectful. But given that the subject had more or less already been breached, there was no use in wasting time pretending that they both weren’t practically shaking out of their skins picturing it. Drawing in a quiet breath, Marie leaned in just slightly.

“What about it?” She asked quietly, tilting her head slightly in a challenge. Andrew held her gaze and they entered a momentary standoff. A nonverbal challenge daring the other to back down with a joke or indication that they weren’t one hundred percent into whatever this energy was between them. Finally, Andrew dropped his eyes to Marie’s lips for just a moment and when he looked back up, his pupils had dilated to cover most of his iris. A forfeit if she’d ever seen one.  _ You fold so quickly Byrne, this is gonna be fun. _

“I don’t suppose you brought a harness with you,” Andrew’s voice came slightly breathy.

“What on tour? Not exactly an essential,” Marie huffed through laughter. Andrew’s eyes crinkled in an answering smile.

“I beg to differ,” he responded cheekily, moving his arm from the sofa to rest on Marie’s shoulders. She snorted inelegantly and took a long sip from her drink, which had started to grow warm. 

“It’s unfortunate, but it’s not like that’s something you want to try for the first time on a moving bus,” Marie responded. Andrew made a show of looking unconvinced, which caused Marie to laugh again and knock into his shoulder. He grinned down at her, brushing the hair back from her face. Marie couldn’t help but feel lit up inside; he had such a warmth and gentleness in the way he touched her, even though this was just lust-driven flirting. Even in outright hedonism, there was a sense of genuine respect and affection in the way he treated her that she rarely experienced with men. It caught her off guard more than she was willing to admit.

“Time for bed then,” Suzanne announced with a finality not to be ignored. She stood up and hauled a groaning Alex out of his seat and ushered him and Austin back to the bunks. As they passed, Marie could’ve sworn she caught a wink from Suzanne. Marie flushed slightly and made a mental note to buy Suzanne a drink at some point in the future. Or maybe bake her cookies. Whatever sends the best “thank you for helping me seduce a hot celebrity into letting me strap it on” message.

If Andrew noticed Suzanne’s subtle wingwomaning, he didn’t let on.

“‘Night, everyone,” he said, nodding in their direction.

“G’night, y’all,” Marie drawled.

“Y’aaalll,” Alex attempted to imitate Marie’s accent, as he always did whenever it came through particularly strong. Marie laughed every time because no matter how many times Alex tried to speak in a southern American accent, his Irish brogue refused to let his mouth widen the right way. Sometimes they’d go back and forth, with Marie attempting an Irish accent and Alex garbling southern-isms until the entire band was in stitches.

Alex disappeared into the bunks with a final grin, leaving Marie and Andrew alone on the couch.

“Well, ehm, I suppose we ought to turn in for the night as well. I’m exhausted,” Andrew stretched as he spoke. His hair fell back and exposed the side of his neck as he groaned slightly.  _ Shit,  _ thought Marie, biting her lip,  _ it should be illegal to be that sexy and not have a clue.  _

Andrew turned to look at her, cataloguing her dark eyes and bitten lips, clearly pleased with himself.  _ Or maybe he does.  _

“Yeah, aight. It’s only, what, seventeen hours til the next show,” Marie finally responded, trying to keep some semblance of control.

“Tomorrow night is also a hotel night,” Andrew murmured quietly, leaning in close enough for Marie to completely forget the amount of chill she was pretending to have.

“Yeah?” She breathed, searching his eyes for what exactly the fuck was going on.  _ Six months ago I was in my bedroom in New Orleans listening to his man’s music on my shitty speakers while I tried to figure out how many hours I needed to pick up to make next month’s rent. _

“Yeah,” Andrew replied with a grin, leaning the rest of the way forward, but stopping just short of brushing his lips against Marie’s.  _ And now he’s going to kiss me. How is this my life? _

“Is this okay?” He whispered, his breath washing over Marie’s face. Instead of answering, she tilted her head and captured his lips.

Trying to match his energy, she kept the kiss soft, just carefully placed brushes of lips. He quickly upped the ante, sucking on her bottom lip and placing his hand on the side of her neck. Marie was not to be outdone and quickly slid a hand into his hair as she bit his lip softly and then smoothed it with her tongue. Andrew hummed in the back of his throat and pulled her closer. On a whim, Marie tangled her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and grasped just firmly enough for him to feel it. Andrew released her lip from between his teeth and gasped into her mouth. 

“Yeah?” Marie breathed, resting her forehead against his. He nodded, eyes still closed. Marie couldn’t help but smirk slightly.  _ Totally called it,  _ she thought,  _ no way this man doesn’t have a hair pulling kink.  _

She pulled him back in, tugging gently at his hair as she ravaged his mouth. He groaned quietly and wrapped his arms around her waist, hauling her closer. He started to pull her onto his lap when she put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“Sorry,” he said instantly, pulling back with a worried expression to search her eyes for any sign of discomfort.

“No, no, it’s okay, honey,” Marie assured him instantly, “I just think this bus isn’t the best place for this.”

Andrew breathed a quick sigh of relief and cupped her cheek in his large hand. His fingertips sat at her hairline and the palm of his hand cupped her jawline perfectly. Marie would be lying if she said she hadn’t caught herself staring at his long elegant fingers with more than a shade of lust before. Had she known what they felt like on her skin, she definitely would’ve shot her shot long before now.

“You’re right, love,” he breathed, leaning his forehead against hers, “Hotel night tomorrow.” He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of this. Marie smiled.

“Tomorrow,” she repeated. She tilted her head up to kiss him once more, this time chaste and sweet. A goodnight,  _ no really, _ kiss. Andrew sighed as she broke it and stroked her cheek once before leaning away. He stood up slowly and a little stiffly, a pop or two coming from his joints. 

“Oof,” he muttered hearing them, “that’s never a good sign.” Marie laughed quietly.

“Hey now, no laughing at an old man,” Andrew faux-chastised and reached down to help Marie off the couch. As she stood up an even louder crack sounded from her hip.

“Jesus Christ,” she muttered, causing Andrew to chuckle.

“Touring does that to you,” he said tossing an arm over her shoulders, “Shall I walk you home, my dear?” 

“Alright,” Marie laughed. Andrew walked with her the ten feet or so to her bunk before gesturing grandly to it. 

“Here you are, home safe and sound,” he whispered, not wanting to wake any of the band members already asleep.

“Thank you, kind sir,” Marie gave a half curtsey, prompting a chuckle from Andrew. He took her face in his hands again and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

“Goodnight,” he whispered as he released her face. 

“Goodnight,” she replied, already pulling back the curtain to climb into her bunk. He gave her one last smile before disappearing back to his bed.

Marie was still smiling to herself as she ducked into her bunk and pulled the curtain closed. At five foot seven she could just barely sit up straight without her head brushing the bunk above her. She quickly stripped off her bra and shirt before pulling the oversized t-shirt she wore to sleep from the bag at the end of the bed. She pulled it on and wriggled out of her pants and underwear and kicked those to the end of the bed. Touring had a tendency to leave you feeling gross and prioritizing sleep over any semblance of organization or dignity.  _ At least tomorrow night is a hotel night. Having an actual shower makes putting clean clothes on feel worthwhile. _

Marie slid under the blanket and as soon as her head hit the pillow, the exhaustion took her straight to sleep.

* * *

The crack of her elbow into the wall of the bus woke Marie up.  _ Fucking potholes I swear to god.  _ She groaned and rolled over, but another pothole nearly threw her from the bunk. A chorus of grunts and muttering sounded from the bunks. Something that sounded faintly like an apology from the bus driver floated from the front of the bus. Marie considered just settling back into her bunk, but she already had that up-and-awake feeling that wasn’t going to be dissuaded. From the faint light in her bunk that filtered through the curtain, she gathered that the sun had already risen. Marie figured she might as well do the same.

She sat up and stretched her legs, trying to shake feeling into them before climbing out of the bunk. Another particularly rough pothole caused her to hit her head on the bunk above her. Grumbling, she reached down to her bag and yanked out a pair of underwear, hoping they were clean but feeling gross enough from the road that it didn’t really matter all that much anymore.  _ God I can’t wait for a shower,  _ she thought as she tugged the underwear on under her long t shirt. 

She climbed out of her bunk dressed like that. She’d given up on being fully dressed constantly on the bus about three weeks previously when she realized that absolutely no one else bothered. It was difficult to change clothes in the bunks and the one bathroom in the back was barely wide enough to turn around in. The guys tended to be shirtless in the mornings or right after shows, and the women on the bus had all been in their bras for the six days the air conditioning broke on the way through Florida and Georgia in early June. Everyone was road gross so nobody cared. The bus driver intermittently sprayed febreze into the vents and everybody pretended that it helped.

Marie wandered down to find Cody already pouring himself a cup of coffee from the giant french press and setting up another kettle full of water to heat up. Seeing Marie walk down the steps, he silently picked up another paper cup and poured her a coffee as well. 

“Thanks,” murmured Marie as she took the cup. Cody just nodded, eyes bleary and cleared not prepared to interact with anyone yet. 

Marie wandered over to the power strip where an inadvisable number of cell phones were plugged in the night before. She untangled her phone from the electrical hazard and settled into the couch with her coffee, swiping it open to assure her father again that she was not dead on the side of the road somewhere. 

After catching up family and friends, she finished her coffee and poured herself another cup. She settled back into the couch to check her social media only to be bombarded by all the horrible things happening in the world.  _ That’s for third cup of coffee Marie, thank you,  _ she thought, closing out of the apps. She put her phone next to her on the couch and looked out the windows instead as she sipped her coffee. 

Thoughts of last night came rushing to her head and started to make her dizzy. The anxiety of being constantly around people on the road and now the uncertainty of what was happening with her and Andrew tightened in her stomach. Marie closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Years of practice for shows and just life in general had given Marie a fairly reliable system. At sixteen, she had learned a technique from a counselor who found her on the brink of a panic attack in her high school hallway. When her thoughts swirled like this and she struggled to make sense and control them, she was always reminded of the woman’s calm voice talking her through it.

The counselor had told her to picture a calm creek or softly babbling brook. Marie would sit cross-legged and try to feel the grass beneath her as the stream in front of her tripped and tumbled over smooth rocks. Once she felt she had a good sense of how the creek flowed, she imagined that fall leaves were occasionally floating by. As other thoughts popped into her head, she imagined pulling them from her temple and placing them on a leaf, allowing them to float downstream. If the same thought persisted, she kept placing them on the leaves and allowing it to leave her. Any thought was always gently acknowledged and very purposely not judged before being given over to the stream. Once her thoughts slowed down, the leaves could drift by unburdened until another thought popped up. The most important and helpful part of this meditative exercise was not to judge herself for the thoughts she was having or attempting to control the direction of her thoughts. It was in trying to thought-police herself that she felt out of control and spiraled into a true panic attack. Soon enough, she found that her leaves were les burdened and her breathing felt less restricted. Eyes still closed, she brought her now lukewarm coffee to her lips.

After a few more moments of this quiet meditation, someone else wandered from the bunks. Marie didn’t open her eyes, knowing that no one on the bus would bother her or particularly care that she was sitting on the couch in only a t shirt looking like a buddhist guru from a children’s cartoon, minus saying “ohmmm.” She heard the sound of another cup of coffee being poured and the couch dip slightly as someone sat down, far enough away to avoid disturbing her. Marie began grounding herself as she came out of the thought exercise. She had found that if she just opened her eyes to end it she tended to drop straight back into being anxious. Instead, she listened carefully to every sound around her: the road, the bus’ engine, the sound of shuffling near the back of the bus. Then she concentrated on the feeling of the couch beneath her, the slight warmth of the coffee cup in her hands, the faint taste of coffee still in her mouth. Once she felt completely present where she sat, she took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes. She blinked a few time to readjust to the light, as the sun had risen higher in the time she’d spent by the brook. She tilted her head to crack her neck and rolled her shoulders, sighing and feeling much more at home in her body.

Marie turned to greet whoever her couch companion was, unfolding her legs from underneath her. She was greeted, or blessed or than anything, with a veritable cloud of brown curls lit up auburn in the early morning sun. Her heart picked up speed slightly, though her anxiety stayed quelled for the most part.

Andrew gave her a crooked and sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry if I disturbed you,” he said gesturing to indicate whatever it was that he’d walked in on.

“Oh no, you’re fine, I was just wrapped up anyways,” Marie said with a bright smile. She was grateful she’d had the time to ground herself fully before facing Andrew. She felt her stomach flutter, but it was the pleasant feeling of anticipation instead of an all-encompassing anxiety. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, are you meditating?” He asked, a curious lilt to his voice.

“Not exactly,” Marie explained, “it’s a visualization exercise I do to keep my anxiety in check. I have a little too much ADD to do real meditation,” she finished with a grin.

“Ah, that’s really interesting, ehm, maybe you could teach it to me sometime,” Andrew said with a quick grin as he reached out for the now empty cup in her hand. She handed it over with a nod and he got up to refill both of their cups. Marie considered saying something about the night before or even the possibility of that night, as Cody had wandered back to his bunk at some point. But before she could think of what to say, Alex practically fell out of his bunk in only his boxers and stumbled down the stairs. 

“Aw thanks, Andy, whatta lad,” he muttered blearily, taking the cup Andrew had just filled and downing half of it in one go. Andrew gave him a blank look for a moment as he poured the other cup before sighing. 

“You’re welcome,” Andrew said flatly, Alex not at all noticing as he sat on the couch nearly on top of Marie, tossing an arm over the back.

“Goodmorning, love, how’d you sleep?” Alex asked, taking another long pull from the cup of coffee that had been Andrew’s. Marie glanced over to see Andrew’s face and couldn’t contain her laughter. She had almost certainly never said the word “flabbergasted” out loud before, but it was the perfect description of Andrew’s face. 

“That bad, eh?” Alex said sympathetically, rubbing her shoulder, seemingly unaware of Andrew’s state. “The potholes are the bain of us all.” Marie schooled her face into a serious expression and nodded thoughtfully, causing Andrew to chuckle quietly. He clearly had given up on getting his coffee cup back and poured himself another. He walked over to hand Marie her cup with a wink before grabbing his phone to settle in with his coffee. Alex launched into a story from a few nights back that had likely been embellished and Marie smiled. She didn’t particularly care if it wasn’t true as long as it was a good story. She took a sip of her third cup and settled in.

* * *

Once in that night’s venue and fully dressed for the show, Marie left the dressing room area to find the drum tech for a final check of her equipment. Just as she turned down the hall, Andrew appeared from his dressing room, acoustic in hand. He spotted her immediately in the dim light and gestured for her to come closer with a conspiratorial grin. A nervous energy nothing like stage fright set Marie’s nerves alight, but she followed him as a backed into his dressing room again. He pressed her to the wall just inside the door jam of the room to capture her lips heatedly with his own.

Marie was utterly lost in the kiss for a long moment, as Andrew wrapped his arm not clutching the neck of his guitar tight around her waist. She sunk her teeth into the plushness of his bottom lip just as the sound of footsteps and pre-show chatter came clattering down the hallway. Andrew yanked away with noise of frustration that did nothing to quell the pounding in Marie’s veins.

“Stay here until they pass,” he all but growled before stepping out from behind the door frame. 

The group all cheered upon seeing him and immediately swept him into joining them for the customary pre-show drink. Marie stayed hidden from sight until they had disappeared around the corner. She groaned and pushed herself off the spot she had half-melted into the wall.

_ I absolutely need a pre-show drink.  _


	2. What You'd Do To Me Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets like... real explicit. I promised pegging and pegging is what y'all are gonna get. Enjoy!

The bus was filled with excited chatter and thrumming energy after the show, it had gone really well and the crowd had really caught the vibe. No one was even bothering to try to come down as they waited on the bus for Andrew to finish up outside. Soon enough they’d be at the hotel where they could take over the hotel bar, take much needed showers, and sleep in real beds that wouldn’t randomly throw you to the ground.

Marie was sitting with Suzanne and Rachel, who were peering at Austin’s camera and excitedly pointing out their favorite pictures of the night. Marie could sort-of see over Rachel’s shoulder, but she was mostly just jittering her leg in anticipation. Her adrenalin was still running as high as it had during the show.

Andrew had turned to her on stage more times than usual that night, even leaning over the percussive rack slightly during one of the guitar breaks to flash her a grin. His confidence was different on-stage, like he knew at least a little bit why so many shrieks sounded from the audience when he tossed his hair back or rolled slightly with the rhythm of the song. During “Dinner and Diatribes” he’d turned and winked directly at Marie with a grin. In return, when he turned back towards her during “Jackie and Wilson” she rolled her body to the rhythm and slid her hand slowly down the mic stand. He missed the rest of the line but picked up quickly. No one noticed, the crowd nearly drowning them out. The final nail in the coffin came during “Take Me to Church,” because of course it did. He turned around for an entire chorus, hitting his chest and growling the first line as he stalked towards her. He leaned over the rack again, mic in hand to sing the last line of the chorus more breathily than usual, before whipping around to sing the refrain to the audience. His eyes had held both a plea and a promise, and Marie had nearly dropped the tambourine she was holding. She was nearly ready to jump his bones the moment they walked off stage but made herself keep her distance, only offering Andrew a wink before climbing into the bus with the rest of the band.

Finally, Andrew boarded the bus to cheers. He laughed and gave everyone a ‘settle down’ sort of gesture. He still seemed just as keyed up as he had after the show, like the meet and greet had kept his adrenalin from flagging.

“To the hotel,” he decreed, patting the bus driver’s shoulder.

“To the hotel bar!” called Alex in response, with as much pomp and circumstance as he could muster. Cheers erupted and the bus driver sighed, starting the engine. Marie made a mental note to buy him a drink as well. Andrew sat on the couch next to Alex across from where Marie leaned into Rachel’s side. He made eye contact with her for a long moment, eyes dark, before turning to answer whatever Alex had just asked him. Marie turned her attention back to Austin’s camera as well, suggesting which ones to post as-is and which ones to edit for the professional tour photos. Marie knew better than to look back at Andrew until they arrived at the hotel. The energy that was rolling off of both of them was electric and more than a little magnetic. It would be far too easy to crash together before they could be alone, and lord knows the band didn’t need to see that.

* * *

“Alright, room 108, two people,” the tour manager called, holding up the hotel keycard after reminding everyone what time to meet in the lobby in the morning.

 “Me and Austin,” Alex called immediately. He walked up and took the card, fist bumping Austin as they made their way off the bus.

 “Room 367, two people,” she continued.

 “Marie and I,” said Suzanne, pulling Marie to her feet and grabbing the card. Marie felt a bit of relief that Suzanne had called her. She was bound to be at the hotel bar and to not ask too many questions if Marie disappeared for the night. Suzanne handed her the extra key with a wink.

“You want first shower? I’m probably gonna go straight to the bar anyways,” Suzanne said, slinging her bag over her shoulder and leading Marie to the elevator.

“God that sounds incredible,” Marie groaned, so ready to stop being disgusted with her own body. Suzanne laughed.

“You start to get used to the tour grime after a while, but you never get happy about it,” Suzanne said sagely. Marie nodded seriously and the two women grinned at each other. The elevator dinged open to the third floor and Marie sighed in relief when she realized they were only a few doors away from the elevator. There’s nothing worse than getting lost in a hotel the moment you step off the elevator.

Suzanne swiped the door open and walked to the furthest bed, dropping her bag.

“Do you want the bathroom before I get in the shower?” Marie asked as she set her bag down on the other bed.

“No honey, I’m alright, I’m gonna just go on down to the bar now,” she said good-naturedly, already sliding the keycard in her pocket and straightening her hat.

“Alright, I might come down after I feel human again,” Marie replied, pulling a razor and comb from her bag.

“I feel you, see ya!” Suzanne left with a final wink.

The door slammed shut and Marie was alone in a room for the first time in days, bathrooms notwithstanding. She took a deep breath and tried to relax her shoulders. Just as she turned to go into the bathroom, she heard her phone buzz. She picked it up as she wandered into the bathroom to turn on the shower.

 

**From: Andrew**

**I got the solo room 505. Will I see you tonight?**

 

Marie grinned at her phone. And here she’d thought she’d have to catch his eye at the bar and sneak off.

 

**To: Andrew**

**Would you like to?**

**From: Andrew**

**I got you something**

 

A picture loaded. Marie was both shocked and somehow unsurprised to see a harness laying across pristine hotel linen. _Of course he found a way to get a strap-on harness in less than 24 hours while on tour, fucking Christ._

 

**To: Andrew**

**I’m about to get in the shower, let me know when to come up**

**From: Andrew**

**Whenever you’re ready, love**

 

Marie felt the anticipation build in her stomach after reading the last text. She set her phone on the counter and shed her road gross clothes, climbing into the shower. She hummed to herself as she washed her hair and perched on the edge of the bathtub to shave. She didn’t shave often because she didn’t much see the point, but she shaved when she could on the road. The tight leather pants she wore on stage felt strange when her leg hair grew out too long. She nicked the back of her knee, of course, causing her to grumble to herself about how bullshit shaving is. There had been times where she got so fed up shaving that she had stopped halfway through but having only one leg shaved is a deeply unbalancing feeling. She finally finished up and climbed out of the shower, humming happily at how nice a big fluffy towel felt against her clean skin. Nothing like being on tour to make you deeply appreciate basic hygiene.

She dried off and wrapped the towel around her hair as she used the hotel provided lotion on her legs and arms. It smelled incredible and Marie took a moment to appreciate just how nice the hotel room was. _So this tour costs like_ money _money,_ Marie thought, feeling her anxiety return slightly. _Is this even a little bit of a good idea? Am I about to go fuck my boss and the most famous person I’ve ever met with a strap on?_ Andrew’s salacious grin on stage popped in her mind. The way he’d groaned when she just barely tugged on his hair the night before. _No, yeah this is worth it, fuck it._ Marie made a beeline for her bag… and then stared into it for a moment. _What the hell do I put on when it’s just going to end up on the floor?_ She thought for a minute. _Whatever you want to wear tomorrow morning._ She pulled on a blissfully clean set of underwear, a shirt and pair of comparably clean jeans. Then she dipped back into the bathroom to grab her phone.

 

**To: Andrew**

**My hair is still a little wet, do you mind?**

 

**From: Andrew**

**Not at all**

 

Marie grinned, grabbing her keycard off the shelf and slipping on her shoes. She stopped to glance in the bathroom mirror for a moment. No makeup and tour tired, but she’d looked worse last night when Andrew had kissed her. At least she was clean now.

 

**To: Andrew**

**Be right up**

 

She dipped out of her hotel room and into the elevator. She hummed a little nervously as the fifth floor dinged open. She followed the signs down to room 505, still humming what she suddenly realized was her harmony for “Shrike.” The irony of the lyrics caught her a little off guard and she huffed out a laugh just as she knocked on the door. It swung open almost instantly, the laughter still on her tongue.

Andrew had clearly also just gotten out of the shower. His jeans sat low on his hips, torso bare. He still had the towel in his hand, wringing out his damp hair. Marie fully intended to take a moment to admire his chest, but he quickly reached out to pull her through the door. After it shut he crowded her up against it, grinning down wryly.

“I didn’t mean to presume, but I’ve run out of clean shirts at the moment,” he tossed the towel aside and brushed his hair back behind him, “The glamour of tour life, eh?”

“You’re not hearing me complain, are ya?” Marie grinned back, placing a hand on his ribcage as she leaned up, “And the fuck you mean ‘you’re not presuming,’ you bought a whole strap on!”

Andrew grinned a little sheepishly but still teased, “I’m still not hearing you complain.”

“Damn straight,” Marie stood on her tiptoes to lock her arms around his neck, still not tall enough to kiss him unless he bent down. His teasing grin dropped.

“Marie, I really do mean that I’m not presuming. I don’t expect anything and I never want you to feel obligated-” he cut off when Marie tugged at his hair slightly.

“Hey, shh, I know,” Marie said seriously, searching his eyes to see that he understood, “I trust you, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

Clearly that was all Andrew needed, because he immediately pressed Marie into the door and stooped to capture her lips. Marie considered the few years of ballet training she possessed and decided that her best bet was to lock her legs into _relevè_ fifth position and pray Andrew kept his balance. It shifted her just high enough that Andrew didn’t have to crane his neck quite as much to kiss her.

He groaned in the back of his throat at the feeling of her tongue against his bottom lip, wrapping his arms tight around her waist. He pulled her up just slightly so her toes just brushed the ground and opened his mouth to her. As she licked into his mouth, he moved one hand up to cradle her face. Unfortunately, he hadn’t realized that his arms around her waist had been holding much of her weight, so when he removed his arm she dropped back to the floor and her back hit the door.

“Unf, fuck,” Marie huffed, more disoriented than anything.

“Jesus, I’m sorry, love, you alright?” Andrew breathed out in a rush, scanning her with worried eyes and smoothing his hand over her still-damp hair.

Marie snorted.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just shorter than is convenient,” she grinned up at him. After a moment, they both started to laugh for real. The true ridiculousness of the moment was hard to overlook. Here was a man, ostensibly rich and famous, notorious for writing hedonistic love songs who had bought a specific sex toy just for her to use on him. And here he also was, with a goofy grin and gangly limbs and a less than elegant beginning to this romance novel-esque encounter. Marie giggled harder, leaning into his chest to hear him continue to laugh as he wrapped his arms around her shoulder. He smelled just like the hotel soap she had used as well, but also something else. Spice or musk or earth, like listening to a thunderstorm in a cave or the chill that runs down your spine when you hear a fox cry for the first time.

Andrew’s laughter died down and Marie felt him press a kiss to her hair.

“C’mon,” he said, pulling away just a little to lead her over to the bed, “this is an easy fix for the height issue.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into his lap.

“Is this alright?” he breathed against her lips. Again she answered with a kiss.

Seated there on his lap, Marie was free to let her hands wander instead of clinging to his shoulders. She’d heard the euphemism to climb someone like a tree, and Marie would be remiss if she hadn’t had that exact thought about Andrew one or twice, but kissing Andrew while he was standing up involved an almost literal interpretation of the phrase. Now that she had him at her level, Marie buried one hand into his hair and explored his chest with the other. His skin was smooth and soft, the occasional soft hairs mapping the way. She noted with some delight the give under her fingers before the sensation of bone. He was still a lanky creature, to be sure, but the extra softness padded his ribs and hipbones as Marie used her weight to push him to lay back on the bed. He groaned and gave way to her, fingers digging into her waist as he gasped against her lips. She hummed and gave him one more lingering kiss before trailing her mouth down over his throat. She nipped lightly, careful not to leave any marks, before tugging sharply at his hair. Andrew let out a sound that was nearly a whimper and Marie couldn’t help but laugh just a little as she nipped at his earlobe.

“What’s so funny?” Andrew whispered, calloused fingers tracing hypnotic patterns on her back.

“I get a little worried that you might not enjoy this, and then you make noises like that and I know you’re a bottom,” Marie said teasingly, giving another gentler tug to his hair. Andrew hummed and laughed lightly.

“Ah well, I suppose you’ve got me figured out, then,” he said. Marie pulled back a little to look down into his eyes, the hazel ring around his pupils hardly visible at all. His eyelashes were dark and startlingly long from up close, Marie was struck by just how _pretty_ he was for a second. Taking what felt like the thousandth leap in the last day, she told him so. Andrews cheekbones flushed just a little before he tilted his head to rest his brow against hers.

“Me? Marie you are breathtaking,” he breathed the words with reverence that Marie was not at all prepared for, that quite honestly scared her a little. Instead of thinking, she dived back in to capture his lips none too gently. He responded enthusiastically, sliding his hands up the back of her shirt to her shoulders and breaking the kiss for hardly a moment to pull it off of her completely. His hands immediately slid forward to Marie’s breasts, calluses pleasantly rough of her sensitive nipples. She groans openly into his mouth, pressing her body ever closer to Andrew’s.

Soon, his fingertips ventured further south to dip into Marie’s waistband just briefly before Andrew pulled back to ask again for permission. Marie nodded impatiently, capturing his bottom lip between her teeth just as his agile fingers flicked the button of her jeans open and slipped into her underwear in one motion. Marie gasped and bit his lip harder than she had intended as Andrew wasted no time circling her clit. She was about to apologize and make sure she hadn’t drawn blood, but Andrew just groaned back and wrapped his other arm around her waist.

The thing about touring is that there is almost zero privacy, and unless you are talented at getting off while standing up in a shower, masturbation is more or less out of the question. Marie had been far too tired to miss it all that much, but between that and the tension that had been building between her and Andrew, Marie found herself on the edge far faster than usual.

“Oh fuck,” she groaned, grinding her hips forward, “god I’m actually really close.” She half laughed in surprise.

Andrew huffed out a similar laugh, lust-blown eyes crinkling in the corners.

“Now you can’t make fun of me if I do the same thing,” he teased, rubbing more instantly.

Marie’s half-formed comeback never solidified as her whole body turned liquid for a moment. Her right hand gripped Andrew’s hair tightly as her vision blacked for a second and her hips stuttered their movement. His fingers never missed a beat, and Marie gasped and grabbed his hand after a moment of overstimulation. She collapsed into his chest for a moment to catch her breath before attempting to roll off of him. His arm around her waist tightened instead.

“Stay, you feel nice,” Andrew’s voice was barely more than a breath. Marie propped her head on his chest to look up at him while he smiled softly at her. It was very sweet of him, to give her this moment of gentleness when she can clearly feel his arousal under her.

“You know, that’s actually a good idea,” Marie mused aloud.

“What is?”

“Orgasm first, it’ll help you relax a little,” Marie said, sitting back on her ankles. She swung her legs around to pull off her jeans and underwear before returning to kneel on the bed over Andrew. He seemed a little distracted, so Marie put a hand on the waistband of his sweatpants and raised an eyebrow.

“May I?”

“You may,” Andrew responded, a little too breathless for it to come off quite as cheeky as he had likely meant.

Marie tugged his sweatpants down and off frankly ridiculously long legs.

“Sir, there is entirely too much of you,” Marie muttered as she struggled for a moment to untangle the pants from his ankles.

“Well, I suppose I prefer to hear that rather than the opposite when a woman takes my pants off,” Andrew said with a chuckle, causing Marie to roll her eyes and crack a grin.

“Oh, whatever, you have never been accused of not being enough, I’m sure,” Marie said, eyeing him for a moment before leaning forward.

She maintained eye contact with Andrew as she took the tip of him into her mouth and slid about halfway down before slowly pulling up and off with a lewd pop. She relished the groan of relief and then frustration he produced at her attentions and subsequent cessation. She placed her hand where her mouth had been, leaning up and over his long torso to mouth at his neck as she stroked. Andrew groaned and gripped onto her back, short blunt fingernails dully scratching at her skin. She licked a stripe up his throat to capture an earlobe between her teeth and slid her free hand into his hair again. She tightened her grip slightly with both hands, feeling Andrew’s back arch into her. Marie released his earlobe from her teeth to whisper what all she had planned once he’d gotten off and they could move on to the reason they were here.

“Can’t wait to get my fingers in you. You’re going to be so good for me, aren’t you Andrew?” Marie just managed to get the words out before a groan ripped from Andrew’s throat and he came over her fingers and onto his chest. 

Marie carefully stroked him through his orgasm until his gasps became a whine. She took her hand from his oversensitive body and pressed a kiss to his cheek before rolling off the bed. Andrew made a vaguely distraught noise at her sudden disappearance, but she just patted him reassuringly with her clean hand before dipping into the bathroom. 

She washed her hands quickly and grabbed a tissue off the counter before coming back out to the bedroom. Andrew was still lying on his back catching his breath when Marie sat on the bed next to his and carefully wiped the mess off his chest. His eyes blinked open in surprise and softened into fondness when he realized what she was doing. She finished and turned to toss the tissue into the trash can. It sailed smoothly into the basket in one of those once-in-a-lifetime perfect shots. 

“Nice,” Andrew said, looking at her in awe.

“I’m so glad you actually saw that. I will never attempt that in front of you again, so you will always assume I’m a perfect shot,” Marie said with as much faux-seriousness as she could muster. Andrew just snorted and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her down into his chest.

“Hot pegging soon, but cuddling now,” he muttered, tucking Marie into his gangly frame. She laughed lightly.

“Alright,” she replied and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

They laid like that for a few minutes before Andrew ran his hand through Marie’s hair and pulled her into a kiss. All it took was Marie swinging a leg over his hip to roll on top of him for Andrew to pull away from the kiss for a moment to gesture to the lube that had been previously ignored on the nightstand. She couldn’t help but grin at his forwardness and took one more biting kiss from his lips before she grabbed the bottle.

Marie settled back onto Andrew’s hips to pour the lube over her fingers. She then scooted back another foot or so and gestured for him to spread his knees. Andrew did so slowly, his eyes locked on her glistening fingers with an unreadable expression.

“Andrew, babe, are you sure?” Marie asked.

He nodded.

“Use your words baby, we do this with enthusiastic verbal consent or not at all,” Marie said firmly, slipping into her role as a top despite not having done so in quite a while. Every time she was dominant, she used the same rules with her lovers. Verbal consent, “no” or “stop” are hard-and-fast safe words, either party can call a time-out at any point if it gets to be too much. She relayed these rules to Andrew, asking him to verbally confirm that he understood and consented to each of them.

“Excellent,” she beamed at him, “so would you like me to finger you?”

“Yes, please,” he said a little breathless, and _wow okay that’s really fucking hot,_ Marie admitted to herself.

She reached between his legs and found his entrance, circling him slowly at first. She reached for the lube again and added more to the ring of muscle before pressing gently. Andrew hummed in encouragement, rocking his hips slightly. 

“Ready?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” came the breathy reply. Slowly she slid her middle finger into him, allowing him to adjust to the feeling.

“Mm, so much better when you do it,” he groaned. Marie grinned and slowly began to thrust her finger.

“You do this to yourself a lot? You ever think about this, having someone do it for you, open you up just to hear all those pretty noises?” Marie purred.

“Yeah, fuck,” Andrew breathed, clearly gone already. Despite his recent orgasm, he stood at half-mast already.

“You’re opening up for me so quickly, so good for me. Do you want another finger?”

“Yesyes, please...”

Marie was nearly dripping onto the bed at how submissive and easily his replies came. He practically melted around her, wrecked with just one finger. Marie couldn’t help but just be _hungry._

She quickly slid another finger into him, thrusting none too gently. His answering moan was accompanied by tossing his head back against the pillow, wild hair splayed out like a halo and a strand caught against his parted lips. He looked like a piece of art _almost_ too beautiful to touch. But far too tempting to leave alone. 

His groans and panting grew louder as Marie carefully scissored her fingers and added a third. She moved around, searching for the spot she knew would make his cries loud enough for the next room over to complain to the front desk. She was fairly certain her fingers were just the slightest bit too short.

“Baby, are you ready for me?” she purred at Andrew, casting her eyes around the room to find the harness sitting on the desk. 

“Yeah, yes, it’s over there,” he ground out after a moment when Marie’s fingers ceased movement.

“Okay, I’ll have to pull out for a moment,” 

Andrew made a less than pleased noise. Marie smiled.

“Well then, here,” she took hold of his right hand and poured a little lube on his fingers, “be good and do it for me,”

Marie slid her fingers out, causing Andrew to whine and immediately slide two of his own fingers in place. She sat for a moment to admire the view of Andrew with his lip firmly in between his teeth and his absurdly long fingers disappearing into his body.

“Fuck, you are art, you know that?” Marie practically growled. His eyes opened just a smidge to lock with hers and widened slightly when he saw the openly hungry lust in her eyes. His fingers sped up and Marie’s legs practically moved on their own to carry her to the harness on the desk.

Andrew watched as Marie picked up the harness first and slid it over her hips. She adjusted the straps carefully so that it was secure before picking up the toy. It was purple silicone, about the length of a regular dildo but slightly thinner and curved. Carefully securing the base of the toy to the front of the harness, she walked over to the edge of the bed. Andrew’s eyes kept bouncing between the harness and Marie’s face as she knelt on the bed. 

“Andrew, are you-”

“ _Yes,_ yes, get inside me, damn it,” he groaned, still thrusting his fingers into his entrance. Marie chuckled. She picked up the lube from where it was discarded on the bed. She coated the strap in lube and nudged away Andrew’s hand. After one last verbal confirmation, Marie lined up to his entrance and began to slowly slid in.

His eyes stayed open and locked on hers, at first. After an agonizingly slow descent, the base of the strap finally met his hips and Andrew threw his head back and groaned, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“Andrew,” Marie murmured. His eyes remained shut and he groaned again. She slid her hand out of his hair and stroked his cheek.

“Andrew,” she repeated, firmer this time, “You have to talk to me, love.” His eyes finally fluttered open, revealing his blown-out pupils.

“Please,” he gasped out, shifting slightly, “please keep going.” Marie hadn’t been asking him to beg, just to clarify that he was still okay. But _fuck_ if his gravelly voice just barely above a whisper hadn’t done it for her. She rocked back a little and forward against him. This time his eyes stayed open and his jaw dropped. A sound Marie had never heard a man make before poured out.

“Like that?” She breathed, repeating the motion. 

“Yeah, yes, please,” he groaned again, pulling her into his chest and murmuring breathless syllables against her lips. Marie leaned forward to capture his lips fully and slid her hand back into his hair. She bit his lip and tugged just slightly at his hair as she continued to rock her hips into him. 

“Fuck, fuck,” he whispered against her lips, so clearly gone Marie couldn’t help but groan and snap her hips forward rougher than she had before. He stilled beneath her for just a moment, but just as she started to pull back to make sure he was alright, he spoke.

“Do that again,” Andrew’s voice was barely distinguishable from a growl, and Marie couldn’t help but gasp at the fire in his eyes. She had seen him intense before, and just recently seen him turned on, but she was not at all prepared for the combination. His hand tightened on her hips, encouraging her forward. Marie left her momentary shock behind and snapped her hips forward again and again, relishing the noises she was able to wring from Andrew. She kept her hips in line to ensure that the toy hit the same spot that made Andrew yell every time. It was one of the hottest sights she had ever seen. This man, poet and rock star, splayed out under her and begging her not to stop. He was clearly in another world, likely not even aware of the sounds her was making and the thump of the headboard into the hotel walls.

“Fuck baby, you take me so well,” Marie growled, tightening her fist in his hair. He keened and gasped, writhing under her. She could feel his erection pressed into her hip and stomach as he met her thrusts. She reached her free hand in between their bodies to grasp him. 

“Yes, fuck, more,” he panted. It had been more of a gesture than anything else, to stroke him. Marie had more or less expected him to not be able to orgasm again, especially not with all this other stimulus. Still, she tightened her grip and began to stroke in time with her thrusts. 

Andrew grew louder and louder until he went very quiet and very still, back arched entirely off the mattress. He let out a gasp and went liquid, pooling into the sheets as all his muscles released at once. Marie instantly still her movements, knowing that he had to be incredibly sensitive. She kept her body propped up on her elbows and allowed him a second to come back to earth.

“Hey there, how’re you doing?” Marie whispered, brushing Andrew’s hair back from his face gently. He blinked his eyes open, lashes fluttering for a moment as he readjusted.

“There you are, beautiful,” Marie said softly, aware of how vulnerable Andrew was liable to feel. He tucked his head at the compliment, hiding in Marie’s neck.

“You’re alright, I’ve got you,” she reassured him, “are you uncomfortable?” She asked, aware of where the strap was still half inside of him. He made a vague noise into her neck that she took as a ‘yes but also I don’t wanna move.’

She leaned back off of him with a caress so that she could see to carefully slide out of him. He still hissed at the feeling but didn’t protest. Marie pulled the harness down and off, setting it aside to be cleaned later. She crawled back up the bed to lay beside Andrew and pull him into her arms. His long and lanky frame wasn’t the most conducive to cradling but she did her best, pressing as much of her skin to his as possible. 

He was soft and compliant in her arms, clearly still coming down. She murmured praise and pet names, gently raking her fingers through his hair. He hummed happily every now and then but said nothing. After holding him like his for the better part of ten minutes, Marie pulled back slightly and stroked his cheek until he opened his eyes.

Once his hazel eyes fluttered open, Marie could see that the glaze of submissiveness had gone. Andrew gave a crooked smile lined with gentle tiredness and leaned up for a chaste kiss. He hummed happily as he pulled back.

“That was fuckin fantastic, love,” he groaned dropping back to the mattress and casting her a wry grin. 

He held his arm out in invitation to curl up against his chest. Marie knew she should get up and clean the strap before she fell asleep, but Andrew’s chest looked so inviting and he had a soft, hopeful look about him. Like he thought she might leave instead.

She smiled at him reassuringly and rolled over to curl into him, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped an arm tight around her and pressed a kiss to her now-dry hair.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered.

“Did you set an alarm?”

Andrew laughed and grabbed his phone off the table. He swiped to show her the alarms set for every five minutes. Marie snorted and sunk deeper into his chest.

“It’s not like the bus can leave without you, Andy,” she said.

“You never know,” he said cheekily, although Marie was already mostly asleep by the time he finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is almost definitely going to be a longer series. I like writing tour group dynamics a lot and I'm really starting to get attached to Marie. Ideas for the rest of this story include bus shenanigans, sexual and otherwise, more of Suze and Alex, maybe a role reversal? Give me suggestions if there's anything you want to see!
> 
> Come check out my tumblr too: stilllivingroots.tumblr.com (its three Ls)


	3. My Heart is Thrilled by the Still of Your Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy 50th moon day! No smut in this chapter, mostly just band shenanigans (bandnanigans??) and flirting.

Marie awoke to the soft warmth of filtered sunlight dancing across her left cheekbone. She laid still without opening her eyes for another moment, luxuriating in the feeling of a real mattress and soft hotel linen. She sighed happily, the sound immediately followed by a shifting in the mattress. A hand wrapped around hers and tugged her arm up and over something warm and solid. Her hand came to rest against a soft stomach with a fine dusting of hair. She shifted closer until her chest laid along the back of her bedmate, face tucked into a cloud of unruly curls. Marie already felt herself drifting off again, pressing a sleepy kiss to the warm skin her face rested against.

Sometime later, Marie was startled awake by the blaring noise from behind her. It took her a brief second to adjust to the realm of the living before she let out a vaguely inhuman sound in recognition. Andrew’s groan rumbled through where her forehead was still pressed to his shoulder blade.

“Is this fuckin’ Destiny’s Child?” Marie muttered.

“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” he said, muffled from where his face was pressed into the pillow.

Marie huffed out a laugh as she flailed her arm around in an attempt to silence the phone insistent on deafening them with Lose My Breath first thing in the morning. She regrettably unattached herself from Andrew’s warmth in order to hush Beyoncé before her snare drums drilled a hole through Marie’s head. Finally, blissful silence.

“‘M back here,” Andrew grumbled, flipping over to wrap a long, sinewy arm around Marie’s waist from where she was still half-sitting up. He tugged slightly until she laid back down with a huff. Wrapping his arm even tighter, Andrew curled his frankly ridiculously long frame around Marie, pressing his face into her neck. Marie couldn’t help the smile tugging at her lips. She knew she should have a discussion with Andrew about how this would impact their professional relationship, but the sun was coming through the curtains just so. His breath was soft and his skin warm. Whatever happened next would happen whether she worried about it or not, so she might as well spend the next twenty minutes enjoying being clung to like a koala.

 

* * *

 

Marie had managed to sneak into her hotel room just as Suzanne’s alarm was going off. She groaned and swatted at it, barely noticing Marie gathering her stuff. After dressing hurriedly and a surprise goodbye kiss from Andrew, Marie chose to pretend that she had woken up before Suze to get ready for the day. Suze was far too hungover to care and gratefully accepted the terrible coffee that Marie had snagged from the hotel lobby.

Now that the crew had all made it onto the bus, only ten minutes later than their official meeting time, the driver threw it into gear to drive to the next show. This drive was only six hours, the shortest leg so far, so everyone stayed in the little seating area to hang out.

Marie was drifting idly in and out of paying attention to the conversation that Cody, Rachel, and Austin were having. Suzanne and Alex sat off closer to the driver’s seat, leaning over a phone and bickering good-naturedly over music choices. Andrew was sitting on the bench next to Marie, occasionally chiming into the discussion which had begun with the merits of horror movies. Marie tried to pick up the conversation, but somehow now a spirited debate on the existence of jackalopes was taking place. 

She glanced up at Andrew to see if he was following any of this to catch him gazing at her. Or rather, just past her to where her arm rested. He grinned sheepishly at being caught, gesturing to her arm nonetheless. Confused, Marie turned to present her right arm to Andrew. He cradled her forearm in one hand and softly traced his finger just under her T-shirt sleeve with the other. Marie was so dazed by the action and the _intimacy_ of this touch that it took her a moment to remember her tattoo. Andrew’s long fingers carefully traced each inked petal of the sunflower just above the crook of her elbow. Marie willed herself not to shiver, although the goosebumps that formed on her forearms couldn’t be helped.

“It’s beautiful,” Andrew finally murmured, just loud enough for Marie to hear.

“Oh... well thank you,” Marie said, still thrown off by this sudden show of affection. It’s not that this was out-of-character per say, the whole band tended towards the physically affectionate. Anyone’s shoulder that was at a comfortable height was fair game for napping on. But the previous night’s activities combined with Andrew’s low voice made this simple caress feel downright _indecent._

He glanced up to meet her eyes, and Marie’s breath caught in her throat. For a brief moment, she thought he was going to kiss her right there on the bus in front of the entire crew. Andrew seemed to consider it, eyes dipping lower to linger on Marie’s lips, before he blinked quickly and looked away. Marie felt both relief and disappointment. As much as she’d like to kiss Andrew, literally as often as possible, she wasn’t keen on having the whole band see her slip their boss a bit of tongue. Lord only knows what kind of assumptions they would make.

Andrew let go of her arm and turned away to face Alex and Suzanne. He asked to see the phone that was currently hooked up to the buses speaker system. Suze plucked the phone from Alex’s hand and past it to Andrew before Alex could argue. Marie thought she caught Andrew flash a smirk in her direction as he flicked through the music library to choose a song.  

A familiar snare solo interrupted the current music playing. Marie’s involuntary bark of laughter on recognizing the song was covered by everyone else on the bus’s exclamation. Rachel began dramatically lip-synching and flipping her hair as Beyoncé-esque as she could manage in the small quarters. Marie laughed, leaning back into her seat just in time to hear Andrew singing quietly:

“ _Hit me hard, make me lose my breath..._ ”

 

* * *

 

“What’s up, sluts!” 

Rachel crashed through the door ahead of Marie and Suze, who burst into laughter and hung onto each other. The shocked and horrified looks on Cormac and Andrew’s faces were truly a sight to behold. Andrew opened his mouth, not particularly sure what his response was going to be before he was cut off. Alex had clearly decided he had a label to earn and whirled around to pose seductively against the dressing room counter. 

“Yes, queen!” Rachel wolf-whistled in response. Alex’s grin widened further.

“A wonderful idea, darling!” He said, channeling a surprisingly accurate Freddie Mercury impression. He began to strut around the dressing room and sing.

“ _She keeps her Moet et Chandon / In her pretty cabinet / ‘Let them eat cake,’ she says / Just like Marie Antoinette_ ,” Alex belted out, maintaining his strangely uncanny Mercury impression. 

Marie cracked up but made sure to pull it together by the time he got to the chorus so that she could chime in with Suze to sing the background vocals. Instead of continuing into the next verse, Alex dropped his posture and gave an overexaggerated bow to the laughter and applause of the rest of the room.

“Freddie Mercury-off!” cried Rachel, clearly pleased with this turn of events. Often times on the bus, particularly several drinks deep, they’d have riffs like this where someone would sing a song from a big-name artist and everyone else would sing their own version of their hits. Ostensibly it was a competition, but really it was an excuse to either goof off or show off. Clearly Alex had set the tone to do both.

Before anyone else could jump into their Queen song of choice, Rachel began singing.

“ _Are you gonna take me home tonight? / Oh, down beside that red firelight? / Are you gonna let it all hang out? / Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round!_ ”

As she sang the last line, Rachel gestured to Andrew who did an awkward, gangly approximation of a stripper move. Everyone immediately burst into laughter, including Andrew who tilted sideways and nearly fell over. Cormac recovered first and started doing what came off as more of an Elvis impression than anything else.

“ _This thing called love / I just can't handle it / This thing called love / I must get ‘round to it / I ain't ready / Crazy little thing called love_ ,” Cormac clearly realized the Elvis-ishness of his performance and wrapped it up with a classic hip swivel.

“Thank ya, thank ya very much,” he grunted.

There was a brief moment of confused silence before Suzanne began the classic _stomp-stomp-clap_ that reverberated through countless stadiums. Everyone quickly migrated to an area where they could bang on something to make a suitably obnoxious sound.

“ _Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise / Playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday / You got mud on your face, you big disgrace / Kicking your can all over the place, singin' / We will, we will rock you_ ,” she belted out, her voice the perfect powerful and intense tenor to carry over the thudding of various pieces of furniture being abused. She continued on to the guitar solo, vocalizing the notes and performing a truly incredible air-guitar routine. 

When Suze finished, she grinned and gave a small curtsey, clearly pleased with herself. She gestured to Andrew and Marie, turning the floor over to the next contestant. 

Feeling a little mischievous and a lot bold, Marie stepped up. She’d heard Andrew sing Somebody to Love at some point, although she couldn’t remember when. Marie was fairly certain that he would choose to sing that song, and she wanted to see if she could throw him off his game.

“ _Can anybody find me somebody to love?_ ” she sang, glancing over to see Andrew’s eyes widen.  _Gotcha, Byrne._

_“Each morning I get up I die a little / Can barely stand on my feet,_ ” Marie belted, glancing around to see if anyone would chime in for the background parts.

“ _Take a look at yourself,_ ” Andrew sang with a wry look on his face that nearly threw Marie off. She kept it together enough to look him dead in the eye to sing the next line.

“ _Lord, what you're doing to me_ ,” 

Rachel and Alex joined Andrew in harmony.

“ _Somebody… ooh somebody / Can anybody find me somebody to love?_ ” Marie ended her performance by flourishing on the note in her own style, abandoning her Freddie Mercury tribute at the very end.

The room cheered and clapped, turning to Andrew for his performance. He seemed to consider his options for a moment before standing up a little straighter. 

“ _Sammy was low, just watching the show / Over and over again / Knew it was time, he'd made up his mind / To leave his dead life behind,_ ” he sang in a soaring voice, with less of Mercury’s inherent growl to it. Still, he leaned into the act and stalked about the room. If you squinted, you could picture star-shaped sunglasses on his face.

“ _Spread your wings and fly away / Fly away, far away,_ ” everyone swayed along with him, Rachel jokingly holding up her phone flashlight. 

Suddenly Andrew transitioned, a grin on his face.

“ _Is this the real life? / Is this just fantasy?_ ” 

Someone cheered and everyone quickly settled into the tight harmony for the beginning of the song. Andrew pointed to Alex to take over.

“ _I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,_ ” Alex sang as melodramatic as possible. When the intro dropped into the first verse, Andrew encouraged Alex to keep singing. He slid to his knees to give a melodramatic rendition of the first part of Bohemian Rhapsody. 

“ _I see a little silhouetto of a man,_ ” Andrew took over to face everyone to conduct the next bit, pointing to people to sing certain lines. He chose Cormac to sing the highest bits and Marie to sing the lowest bits as general hilarity ensued. Several of them botched the pronunciation, and Suze started laughing so hard she couldn’t sing anymore. Rachel surprised everyone and nailed the high note on the last ‘ _for me_ ’ after the bit had mostly fallen apart. Andrew refused to let the song go without a proper ending, though. He jumped onto a chair, which teetered dangerously, and belted out the next verse.

“ _So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? / So you think you can love me and leave me to die?_ ”

The crew gathered around where Andrew stood on the chair, aggressively air-guitaring and whipping his increasingly unruly hair around.

“ _Anyway the wind blows…_ ” everyone sang the last line, more or less accurate to the original. They all burst into laughter the moment they stopped singing.

“Well, ehm fantastic warm up, team,” said Andrew, posture and voice returned to normal. He clambered off the chair, nearly falling but catching himself on Alex’s shoulder at the last minute. He gestured to the exit of the dressing room.

“A pre-show shot, anyone?” he asked. 

“Oh hell yes,” was the general consensus.

 

* * *

 

By the time Andrew boarded the bus after the show, it had been nearly two hours and Marie was halfway to plastered. The bottle of Wild Turkey American Honey rested at her feet for easy access, which no one opposed. 

The liquor cabinet on the bus was technically free reign. However, everyone had a favorite and most of the time no one wouldn’t touch anyone else’s alcohol. Marie had a strong preference for whiskey, specifically honey flavored bourbon. Andrew and Alex also drank whiskey, but it was always from an Irish distillery. Alex mocked Marie mercilessly at first for drinking honey whiskey, calling it cheating and not real whiskey, until the night Marie looked him dead in the eye, plucked the Irish bottle from his hands and took four long swallows straight from the bottle before handing it over. He still liked to tease her that Irish whiskey was far superior to American, but he had left the honey whiskey alone. Suze drank spiced rum, while Austin and Rachel drank clear rum. Cormac and Cody drank vodka, specifically Russian vodka, claiming that they never had hangovers. 

The night had begun with someone fishing out an Uno deck and establishing rules to turn it into a drinking game. The game was put away after only a few rounds as most the band was pretty well liquored up and gameplay had been edging into the realm of vicious. 

Now, people were sharing increasingly wild stories of things they’d done as children and teenagers. Marie giggled and poured herself another whiskey as Cody told the story of the time his older brother convinced him to jump out of a two-story window. Marie told everyone about the month she’d manage to convince her sister that their childhood home was haunted by sneaking into her room at night to make spooky noises and move things around. It had worked perfectly up until her mom had heard her sister crying and walked in to turn on the lights. There was Marie, standing with a bedsheet over her head in the middle of slamming the closet door. Austin began to tell a story about the time he decided to give the family dog a haircut, when he was interrupted by Andrew finally boarding the bus. He looked more than a little exhausted. 

Alex leapt out of his seat and stumbled sideways slightly to hand Andrew a plastic cup of whiskey.

“You got some catching up to do,” Alex singsonged. Andrew glanced down at the cup and then up at the expectant faces of the crew. He shrugged slightly before chugging the entire drink to the drunken delight of everyone else. 

“Atta boy, Andy, now it’s time for you to tell us a story about the kinda shite you got up to as a child,” Alex said steering him to sit on the couch next to Marie and Cormac.

“Driver…” Andrew said tiredly, signaling for the long-suffering bus driver to begin the overnight trip to the next destination.

After another hour and a half of drunk storytelling and a halfhearted attempt at ‘Never Have I Ever,’ everyone on the bus was properly sloshed, Marie included. She was leaning halfway across Andrew’s body to talk to Rachel, who had decided to sit on the floor for some reason. They were having an animated discussion about growing up in the Deep South, comparing and contrasting their specific experiences. Rachel’s upbringing just outside Nashville was much more in line with the typical expectations, while Marie had the added cultural background of being from a Creole family in New Orleans. Both towns of course were drinking towns and the discussion quickly turned to southern drinking traditions. 

“But seriously, you didn’t go drinking in the south if you didn’t hear a group of drunk white people sing Wagon Wheel,” Marie said. Rachel grinned.

“ _Heading down south to the land of the pines / I'm thumbing my way into North Caroline_ ,” she belted, exaggerating her southern accent. Marie giggled and joined in with the harmony she always sang back home. If you sang in a bar in the south, the best way to make tips was to wait until a bachelorette party wandered in and then start playing Wagon Wheel. There were nights she sang it four or five times. 

To both Rachel and Marie’s surprise, Andrew and Alex almost immediately joined in. They knew all the words and even sang the harmonies that bands who played it live would use. 

“ _Rock me momma like the wind and the rain / Rock me momma like a south bound train_ ,” they both laughed at the look on Rachel and Marie’s faces.

“Every pub band in Dublin plays that song, loves,” Alex said.

“Oh Lord, I was so fuckin’ tired of playing that song,” groaned Andrew, leaning sideways into Marie. She hoped that her drunkenness would excuse any visible reaction she had to his closeness. 

“Wait, in Dublin?” asked Rachel, “The whole song is about North Carolina!”

“I don’t know, but every band plays it the same way they play Seven Drunken Nights or Galway Girl,” Alex sloshed his whiskey as he gestured widely. 

“That’s wild,” muttered Marie, reaching to refill her bourbon. Hardly half a shot came out of the bottle, causing Marie to pout. She hadn’t realized she was that low on booze. She went ahead and drank the disappointingly small glass.

Spotting her pout, Andrew snagged the Irish whiskey bottle that Alex was holding between his knees. He placed one hand over hers where she held her cup and used the other to pour in a healthy amount of fine Irish whiskey.

“Why Andy, are you trying to get me drunk?” Marie purred teasingly, his hand still cradling hers. He laughed quietly.

“Love, you are already drunk,” he said with a teasing tone, although he was absolutely correct.

“Well then catch up,” Marie said resolutely, tossing back half the whiskey he poured her with a wink. Andrew laughed and shook his head but raised his glass to his lips anyways. 

“Marie! Be drunk and southern with me,” Rachel called, snapping her attention from the flirtatious eye contact Andrew was still holding.

The moment Marie looked back at Rachel, she burst into song.

“ _Almost heaven / West Virginia_ ,” everyone on the bus joined in almost instantly. The loud drunken rendition of Country Roads, Take Me Home kept going long after the song should’ve ended, no one keeping track of which verses had already been sung.

Finally the song petered off. As Marie glanced around the bus, she realized that most everyone was half asleep, leaning into shoulders or flopping over onto the laps of bandmates. Marie considered for a moment cuddling into Andrew’s side, since at this point it would raise no suspicion. Before she could complete her drunken thought process, she felt Andrew tuck his face into her hair. He absent-mindedly rubbed his cheek against the top of her head, not unlike a touch starved cat. Marie huffed out a laugh.

Deciding that it really didn’t matter much at this point, Marie turned in her seat to face Andrew. She tossed her legs over his lap and scooted towards him until she could tuck herself into his chest and rest her head in the crook of his neck. He hummed happily at the change in position, wrapping an arm tightly across her shoulders. Hidden from the sight of the others on the bus, Marie pressed a sleepy kiss to the side of Andrew’s neck. He shivered a little in response. The small part of Marie’s brain that wasn’t exhausted and drunk wanted to keep kissing at his neck, see how long he would let her tease him for. But that part of her brain was shut down by the rest of it that had found a warm, safe place to curl into and drift away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bit about Wagon Wheel comes from me being shocked the first time I was in a pub in Dublin and heard that song. I heard it four more times that night. I come from the third Deep South drinking town, Savannah, and I was floored to hear Wagon Wheel just as often as I did back home. 
> 
> I've really appreciated y'alls support! Keep the comments and kudos coming, it warms my cold dead heart!
> 
> Stay tuned for the next chapter, there will be bus smut AND hotel smut.


	4. It's How I Know Now that You Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short lil chapter, basically just bus smut. I had planned to post a longer chapter but I'm about to move (again) and I'm not sure when I'll be able to finish the next bit. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Marie brushed at whatever was tickling her nose, groaning quietly. She could tell she hadn’t been asleep long enough for it to be morning, and her hangover was better postponed for another few hours. Still, the tickling persisted despite Marie rubbing her cheek into the uncomfortably hard surface it rested on. A low chuckle seemed to envelope her as it rumbled from beneath her head.

“You awake?” came Andrew’s gravelly voice.

“No,” grumbled Marie, burying her face further into his hair. He laughed and adjusted his arms around her.

“Would’ve moved you sooner but I didn’t want to wake you,” was the only warning Marie had before she was suddenly very high off the ground. Her surprised squawk was muffled against Andrew’s collarbone as he lifted her bridal style. A good thing too, as most of the crew appeared to have also fallen asleep in the bus’ common area in various entangled positions. Alex stirred but his eyes never opened as he transferred his head from Rachel’s shoulder to Cody’s.

Andrew carried Marie back into the bunks, careful of her head although she kicked one of the curtains. They both froze for a moment, cringing at the possibility that Marie might have kicked a sleeping bandmate in the face as an actual giant carried her through the bus. Thankfully, the bunk was unoccupied. Andrew breathed a sigh of relief that Marie felt move through her entire body. She chanced another look down and quickly decided better of it. From this height, a fall would be genuinely dangerous. _How does he just walk around like this all the time?_

When Andrew reached Marie’s bunk, he put her down so that she could climb into bed. No longer tired, Marie took the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a less-than-chaste kiss. She sat on her bunk and tried to pull Andrew in alongside her. He chuckled and pulled back.

“Love, I’m not going to fit in there with you,” he whispered, nuzzling her cheek. Marie gave him her best pout and attempted to pull him into the bed again. He didn’t budge, laughing again and tucking his face into her neck.

“Minx,” he accused with no bite in his voice. Marie leaned back on the bed to pose over-dramatically, come-hither eyes and all. Andrew beamed back his goofy grin that enveloped his entire face; the kind of smile that makes you smile back before you’ve told your face that it’s allowed to.

“Are you still drunk?” he whispered, leaning slightly into the bunk to avoid waking anyone with his voice.

“Nope, and I’m definitely not tired,” Marie responded, leaning in again to nip at his bottom lip. _Fuck subtlety, I’m getting this man into my bed tonight if we both have to fold in half to do it,_ she thought.

Andrew made a soft sound in the back of his throat in response and then swept Marie off the bed and back into his arms. She managed to swallow her noise of surprise this time, tucking herself happily into his chest.

“I can walk, you know,” she whispered teasingly. Andrew quirked an eyebrow at her but said nothing. He apparently _had_ noticed her tripping on her way off of the stage that evening. Marie flushed and looked away.

“Like you’re the epitome of grace,” she muttered.

“Like a swan,” he replied sagely, then stumbled exaggeratedly. Marie rolled her eyes and laughed quietly. 

They made it to the back of the bus to Andrew’s bed. His was slightly larger than the rest of the bunks. He tried to insist at first that he didn’t want special treatment by getting the largest bed, but he was shouted down instantly about how he was _too goddamn tall to fit anywhere else_.

Andrew bent over to carefully place Marie onto the bed, and she slid over to the wall to make room for him to come lie down next to her. He closed the curtains as he did so before pulling Marie into his arms and capturing her lips.

His hands impatiently slid up under her top, caressing her sides and along the edge of her bra. She nipped at his bottom lip at the feeling. He pulled her on top of him so that she laid on his chest in order for him to pull off her top and unhook her bra. Andrew clutched at her waist as he sat up slightly to capture one nipple in his mouth. Marie gasped at the feeling of his warm mouth on her, apparently too loudly. He immediately stopped and flipped them over so that Marie was suddenly on her back, his hair hanging like a curtain framing their faces.

“ _Shh_ , it’s three in the morning. You’ll have to be quiet, yeah?” At this last bit, a smirk lit up his face, clearly planning to test Marie’s self-control. She couldn’t help but groan quietly in her throat at the implication and nodded quickly. He grinned wolfishly back and slowly lowered his head to resume his previous ministrations. Marie exhaled shakily, trying to keep her volume in check. She must have done well, because she felt Andrew’s hand slowly caress up the inside of her thigh. When he reached the top and brushed his fingers across the seam of her jeans, Marie’s breath stuttered and a low sound came unbidden from the back of her throat. Andrew chuckled lowly, the sound made directly into her sensitive chest. 

Marie slid a hand into Andrew’s hair to pull him up to her level. She more or less attacked his mouth as his fingers pressed more insistently against her. He didn’t seem to mind Marie’s use of his lips to muffle her reactions, groaning slightly in response. Quickly flicking open the button of her jeans, he placed his hand low on her stomach, pausing for a moment. He made an attempt to extract himself from the kiss, intending to ask Marie’s permission to go any further. Far beyond that point, Marie thrust her hips up enough that his fingers dipped past the waistband of her underwear as she gripped his hair firmly. Andrew huffed a laugh against her lips and slid his hand the rest of the way down between her thighs.  

“Fuck,” Marie groaned, muffled against Andrew’s mouth. His hand froze and she made another muffled noise of frustration.

“I told you, baby, you have to be quiet,” he pulled back just enough to whisper. There was a playful glint in his eye, clearly relishing being in complete control of her pleasure.

“God, fuck, okay,” Marie breathed, beyond the ability to form coherent sentences. 

Marie’s back arched as she flung her head back into the mattress. Her left foot dragged up the bed as her leg hooked over Andrew’s hip, toes curling and uncurling. Whenever she reacted physically, she felt his lips spread to a grin where they pressed to hers. If she made any sound above a breathy whisper, his fingers stilled for several seconds as he shushed her. The frustration only increased her arousal and made keeping quiet more difficult. A few times she made a noise she could’ve kept down just to see the sharp look in Andrew’s eyes as he admonished her gently. 

Soon enough, Marie’s right leg joined the other wrapped around Andrew’s hips. They locked together to keep his body as close to hers as possible. Both of her hands knotted into the hair at the nape of his neck to crush his face against hers to muffle the sounds she couldn’t help any longer.

Andrew realized how close Marie was and sped up his rhythm. His long, deft fingers never missed a single beat, despite her bruising grip on him. Marie had lost her ability to kiss with any amount of finesse, but that hardly seemed to matter. He kept his mouth over hers as she rocked her hips onto his fingers. 

As she reached her edge, Marie unlocked her legs from around Andrew’s waist and planted her feet on the mattress. Her toes curled into the sheets as her hips lifted off the bed. She forgot to breathe for several long seconds as she found her release, all the while gripping at the roots of Andrew’s hair for dear life.

When she dropped back to the bed and lessened her hold on his hair, Andrew’s fingers stopped their motion for a few moments before lazily resuming stroking her. Marie sighed into his mouth, her hips jolting of their own accord whenever a guitar-calloused fingertip brushed her overly-sensitive clit. 

After finally regaining fine motor control after a truly mind-blowing orgasm, Marie cupped Andrew’s jaw to pull him in for a languid kiss. Some moments later, he shifted off of her to lay down. Marie began to trail a hand down his chest to reach for his belt, but he caught her wrist.

“You were very good at being quiet, but I know I can’t say the same,” Andrew whispered into her ear. Despite being sated for the time being, Marie shivered at the feeling of his lip brushing the shell of her ear. 

“Are you sure? I think you can be good for me,” Marie countered, nipping at his earlobe. Andrew groaned slightly.

“Temptress,” he accused with a wry grin, “Tomorrow night is a hotel night, we might as well have another noise complaint.”

It took Marie a second to fully process what he had said.

“What? Another?” She whispered, bewildered. His answering sheepish grin sent Marie into a fit of giggles that she leaned forward to muffle into his chest. He chuckled quietly, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist. 

“Oh my god,” Marie wheezed, muffled against the fabric of his shirt. 

“The tour manager mentioned it as we were getting on the bus. Luckily she never asks questions,” he said with a cheeky grin.

“I’m buying her a very nice bottle of wine when this tour is over,” Marie whispered, shaking her head.

Andrew chuckled quietly and nuzzled his cheek against her hair like he had earlier in the evening. Marie felt the post-orgasm haze settle into a tiredness in her bones.

“Ugh, I should get up,” she muttered, not at all interested in making the effort to walk the few feet to her bunk.

“Why?” asked Andrew, and then “Stay?” he whispered so quietly Marie barely caught it. 

Something about this side of Andrew, where he seemed so vulnerable and open and almost expecting a rejection, tore at a part of Marie. Like there was this little soft spot on her soul that Andrew’s unsure puppy dog eyes jabbed into. It was almost frightening how much it affected her; provoking a flight response that she couldn’t follow through on. _Dangerous._

“Okay,” she whispered back, just as softly.

He flashed her a smile, like she’d given him something precious, before flipping onto his back to wiggle out of his jeans and kick them to the end of the bed. Marie kicked hers off too, and when Andrew shrugged out of his shirt, she grabbed it and pulled it over her head. He looked at her quizzically.

“This way if the bus throws me out of bed, I won’t shock the band by being completely naked,” Marie whispered. Andrew grinned.

“Don’t worry, I make an excellent seatbelt,” he responded. He laid on his side facing Marie and lifted an arm in invitation. Marie flipped over to allow him to mold himself along her back. He draped his arm around her waist and held her firmly in place. Andrew placed a soft kiss to the top of her head and murmured a “sweet dreams, love.”

Marie smiled to herself. Her last thought before drifting off to sleep was that he did indeed make an excellent seatbelt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter partially brought to you by that picture of Andrew holding someone bridal style. He's so tall and clumsy, I can't help but think that's actually dangerous. 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments make my lil writer heart happy! Seriously, the response to this fic has been incredible and y'all have been so, so sweet. It means the world to me.
> 
> Also, if you do the tumblr thing come follow me at stilllivingroots (with 3 Ls)


	5. I Could Never Define All That You Are To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's finally back? 
> 
> That was a hell of a move and my first semester of grad school starts next week so yikes lol
> 
> Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy this chapter of hotel shenanigans

The sun warmed Marie awake, and she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Blearily realizing that her whiskey hangover could reach its fever pitch at any moment, she rolled out of the bunk without bothering to opening her eyes. She fumbled her footing and ended up on the bus floor. Groaning, she begrudgingly opened her eyes to find Suzanne looking at her with a shocked look that quickly morphed into a smug smirk.

“I see you had a nice night,” Suze punctuated her words with a wink.

_Oh._

_Oh_ fuck.

_I’m definitely naked under Andrew’s t shirt, and I literally just fell out of his bunk,_ Marie thought as the panic finally seeped through the fog of her hangover. She scrambled to pull the shirt to at least cover her modesty. Suze took in the dawning horror on Marie’s face with a fond grin.

“No worries, I’ll cover you,” she said in a lower voice. Marie nodded and reached back into Andrew’s bunk to grab her clothes from the night before. Andrew, the lucky bastard, was still dead asleep. Turning to make a break for her bunk, Marie found Suze casually blocking those in the common area of the bus from being able to see down the hall. She glanced back over her shoulder to toss a wink at Marie.

_I owe my soul to Suzanne Santo, and I shall worship at her shrine for the rest of my days,_ Marie vowed to herself. She ducked back into her bunk to pull off Andrew’s shirt and replace it with her own clothing before venturing out to find life-giving coffee.

 

* * *

 

When the tour manager began calling for hotel rooms that afternoon, Marie called Suze for her roommate. She fully planned on finding some time to take Andrew apart, and it was much easier to dip out of the room if she didn’t have to make up excuses. Sure, there would be questions, but Marie trusted Suze to keep things between them.

She surprised Marie, however, when they got up to the room by not immediately jumping down her throat about Andrew. Instead, she flopped onto the nearest bed and announced into the pillows that it was time for a nap. Marie’s hangover agreed enthusiastically, and she barely managed to get her shoes off before falling asleep.

She awoke about an hour later to her phone buzzing underneath her hip, having never made its way out of her pocket. Marie grunted and rolled over to fish it out. She caught Suzanne’s eye from where she sat up in bed, scrolling through her own phone.

“Sleep well?” Suze asked, diverting her attention to Marie.

Marie nodded in response, not quite awake enough for words yet. She glanced down at her phone to see three texts, all from Andrew. 

“Someone special text you?” Suze asked, the smug look on her face suggesting that she knew exactly who had texted her. Marie sighed and scrubbed her hand across her face, preparing herself mentally for this conversation. She turned to Suze and opened her mouth, although she hadn’t quite decided if she was going to tell the truth or not. Suze cut her off.

“You know I’m not judging you, right?” she asked, “Andrew’s cute, you’re cute, I like both of you a lot.”

Marie floundered slightly for a reply before eventually settling on a weak “thank you.”

Suze smiled and went back to her phone, like that was that on that.

“Hey this is between us, though, right?” Marie said quickly, her brain finally catching up to current events, “I don’t want people to think I’m like, sleeping with the boss or whatever.”

“No, no, no, of course,” Suze said quickly, “I wouldn’t talk about you guys like that. It’s none of my business anyway.” 

Marie breathed a sigh of relief. 

“I really appreciate that, Suze.”

Suzanne shot her a grin.

“Are you going up to his room tonight?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Marie glanced at the messages on her phone.

**From: Andrew**

**I got the single again, room 303**

 

**I know you probably want to get some rest, but I’d love to see you tonight**

 

**Let me know if you decide to come down**

 

 Marie bit her lip to keep her smile to herself. 

“Yeah, I think I will. Do you mind if I jump in the shower?” 

“Nope, I showered while you were still asleep.”

“Bless, thank you,” Marie said, already rummaging through her bag to grab her toiletries.

 

* * *

 

Just before Marie dipped out of the hotel room, Suze caught her attention.

“Catch,” she called with a cheeky grin, lobbing Andrew’s t-shirt from the night before in her general direction. Marie caught it with a shy grin and ducked out into the hall.

The moment Andrew opened his door, Marie wasted no time throwing herself into his chest and pushing him back into the bed. She managed to kick the door shut as an afterthought; her single mindedness caught like a scratched record on Andrew’s words from the night before.

“We might as well have another noise complaint,” he had whispered.

Marie planned on making good on his words; she was going to earn that noise complaint.

Andrew let out a muffled grunt and chuckle when the backs of his legs collided with the bed. Marie climbed onto his lap, gently cupping his chin in her hand.

“Well, hello then,” Andrew murmured with a cheeky grin.

“Hi,” Marie responded, leaning in to capture his lips in a searing kiss. He hummed low in his throat, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. She leaned into his chest hard until he took the hint and laid back onto the bed, cradling her on top of him. After a few moments, she broke the kiss and sat up, pressing her hands to his chest for balance.

“With your permission, I’d like to ruin you,” Marie practically hissed, rolling her hips as she spoke. For his part, Andrew blinked in shock for a solid six seconds before he seemed to fully process what she had said. Marie saw the exact moment it clicked, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips and pupils dilating a fraction. 

“What exactly did you have in mind?” he breathed out, looking like he would say yes to anything Marie proposed. A catlike grin spread across her face as she considered the possibilities, although she knew exactly what she wanted. She’d caught him looking at her on the bus and all she had thought about since was getting him under her and at her mercy. 

“I want to ride you,” she purred, the movement of her hips more pronounced. Andrew started nodding before she’d finished speaking.

“Yeah, _yes._ There are condoms in that bag,” he answered in a rush, gesturing across the room vaguely.

“But,” Marie interrupted, stilling her hips entirely, “I want it to last.”

She leaned back down on top of him to nip at his earlobe as she whispered her conditions.

“Which means you can’t come until I say you can.”

Andrew groaned and grabbed at her hips, fingers digging into her flesh. He said something in her ear that wasn’t fully formed, like the sounds had fallen from his lips before he shaped them into words. Marie sat back up again, a hand pressed firmly to his collarbone.

“Is that a yes?”

“You have my complete permission and consent, _please_ come here,” he groaned, gripping at her hips to pull her back against his body. Marie smiled and caressed his jaw with the hand not holding her up. She took his chin with a gentle but firm hold.

“You fold so easy, Byrne. Always so good for me,” Marie praised him, delighted to see the softening in his face. 

Gentle dominance and praise had always been a preferred scene of hers, and Andrew’s natural submissive reaction to her was deeply satisfying. It was sexy, of course, but also seeing this giant of a person in reputation and stature trust her so much held a nearly spiritual power. It wasn’t just sex; they were seeing each other and _listening._ Marie’s heart ached with just how tender the moment was, just a breath away spilling over into feralness. She stroked his cheek once more, fingertips brushing barely-there over softly stubbled skin. Andrew kept the heady eye contact and tilted his head to nuzzle against her hand. The moment held on for a few more heartbeats, emotions darting just behind their eyes not stable enough to be named, not yet. It felt too much, too soon, so Marie dipped forward in a kiss designed to ramp them up to an eleven as quickly as possible.

Andrew responded enthusiastically, and Marie got to work divesting them of clothes while trying to separate their lips as little as possible. Finally ridding them both of their undergarments, she pulled back to gaze at Andrew once again. She catalogued his face before taking him in her hand, quirking an eyebrow when he hissed at the contact.

“Where are you at?” she asked quietly.

“I’m okay,” Andrew panted.

“Just okay?”

“No danger yet,” he said with a lopsided grin. Marie smiled softly back.

“Alright, here’s the rules. You tell me if you’re close. I’ll stop moving until you can continue. If something gets to be too much, tap out. Literally, if you’re having trouble speaking. Do you understand?” she asked.

“Yes,” he responded obediently. Marie’s smile widened.

“Excellent. Now where were the condoms you said?”

After a moment of confusion and many pockets unzipped and rifled through, Marie finally located a condom and held it up victoriously. Walking back over to the bed, she quickly tore open the package and rolled it into place. With that, she carefully guided him into her body.

She sunk down slowly, hands pressed to his chest for balance. Wincing slightly at the adjustment, Marie realized it had been quite a while since she’d done this. She slowed down even further, breathing deeply as she focused on relaxing her muscles. Andrew’s eyes were closed and he let out a low groan as her hips finally met his. Marie gave herself a few moments to fully adjust before leaning forward to brace herself over Andrew’s body. She took a breath and began to rock her hips down, carefully gauging his reaction. Andrew pressed his head back into the pillow and groaned again, straining to keep himself still.

“You’re doing so well, so good for me,” Marie whispered, shifting her weight slightly to free a hand to run through his hair. She caught some strands and tugged, smiling at his predictable reaction.

“Open your eyes, babe, let me see you,” she purred, slowing down just a little to ensure his obedience. His eyes blinked open, greener than usual where his irises were actually visible. For the most part, his pupils were blown out to match his panting breath. Marie grinned, like a cat toying with a canary. 

“Good.”

She picked up the pace, her breathing growing just as rapid as his. Marie allowed him to move underneath her for a bit. So caught up in the moment, she nearly forgot her dominant role until Andrew gasped and swore, thrusting into her faster. Marie sat back hard on her hips, pinning him under her and to the bed, effectively immobilized. She tsked at him as he groaned in frustration.

“Not yet, love, tell me when I can move again.”

After a few deep breaths, Andrew forced his eyes open and nodded at her.

 “Okay, okay, I’m ready,” he said breathily. Marie beamed at him and began to move again.

This pattern repeated three times before Marie came. She asked Andrew as she was coming down if he needed to come too, or if he could hold off for a little while longer. He breathlessly urged her to continue, eyes blown out and words hardly stringing together at all. Marie beamed at him and immediately sped up again. Her second orgasm followed the first closely, and by the time she was back to herself, lazily rolling her hips against his, she could tell by his face that it was getting to be too much. Andrew’s eyes were wet with unshed tears and his hands had twisted into the sheets so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Marie quickly leaned forward to press her body along his. Whispering mostly nonsense in his ear, she rolled her hips without separating her chest from his.

“It’s okay, you were so good for me baby, you can come now, let go,” she murmured, clinging to him and pressing kisses to whatever skin was in front of her. Andrew gasped, beyond words that made sense, choking out random syllables that sounded vaguely like her name. She hummed encouragingly, allowing him to set the pace. Quickly, Andrew shuddered, keening and gasping, before wrapping his arms tight around her waist and slowing down. He kept grinding his hips up, still inside her, as though trying to prolong to moment as much as possible. Marie allowed him to do whatever it was he needed. Finally his grip on her loosened enough for him to slide out of her body. 

Gripping the base of the condom, she removed it for him carefully before tying it off and tossing it in the trash. 

“Thanks,” he murmured breathlessly, eyes still glazed over. 

Marie just crawled back up the bed to curl up against his chest, pressing as much skin to his as possible as his breathing slowly evened out, and he returned back to the world of the living. He pulled the covers up over them before sighing happily into her hair. 

Marie came back to herself, having dozed off with her face pressed into the crook of Andrew’s shoulder. Humming happily, she pressed a kiss to the deliciously soft and warm skin she found there. _It should be illegal to smell that good._

She was jolted from the sleepy warmth of lying in Andrew’s arms by a loud buzzing coming from the bedside table.

“Andyyy,” Marie groaned, “enough with the alarms.”

He chuckled quietly, pressing a kiss to the side of her head before reaching for his phone. 

“Oh, ehm, actually it wasn’t an alarm. Looks like everyone is downstairs taking over the hotel bar,” he said.

Marie propped her chin up on his chest to squint at his phone screen. Several members of the band had texted the group chat for the tour, demanding Andrew’s presence. Notably absent was Suzanne, who had last messaged about an hour previously to say that she was headed down to join them. 

“Sounds like a party and a half,” said Marie, stretching to pop a few of her stiff joints. Andrew chuckled.

“I suppose we ought to go down there, then,” he said, mirroring her stretches and achieving some impressively loud pops of his own. Marie hummed in agreement.

They dressed in amiable silence, smiling at each other whenever their eyes met. They were delayed going out the door for a few moments when Andrew leaned in for a kiss and neither of them felt particularly inclined to stop. He held her so gently in his arms, one overly long hand cupping her jaw so carefully. It was a deeply tender and sated kiss, so unlike the biting fierceness of most of their kisses before. Marie felt that same swelling in her chest as before, that feeling that terrified her just as much as it made her never want to leave his arms again.

_Too damn much, too damn fast._

Finally, their phone’s buzzed in tandem to remind them of the group awaiting them downstairs. They broke apart and smiled softly at each other for a moment before Andrew finally sighed and stole one last chaste kiss before leading them out the door.

There was no discussion about waiting or walking in separately. Andrew didn’t seem to mind, so Marie never brought it up. They took the elevator down to the hotel bar and walked in side-by-side. Suze smirked knowingly at Marie but no one else seemed to bat an eye at them entering together. Flagging down a harried bartender, Alex raucously ordered a round of shots for everyone, with two for both Marie and Andrew to catch up. Marie resigned herself to Hangover Part Two: Electric Boogaloo, tossing back both her shots. She ordered a drink for herself and Suze, whom she figured she owed at least that, and tipped the bartender extra with a sympathetic smile. 

Before long, the group was well and plenty drunk and the bar was closing down for the night. Not willing to let the party end, everyone headed up together to Alex and Austin’s room. Since they were all drunk together and not confined to a moving bus, Rachel and Marie declared that there _would_ be dancing and immediately assumed DJing duties.

Marie actually had several years of formal dance training under her belt, but more importantly she had gone to college in New Orleans. After four drinks, it was time to _dance_ and there was no stopping her. She and Rachel alternated between all the classic club songs that had choreographed dances along with them. Suzanne, Marie, Austin, and Rachel were the only ones who knew most of the dances, with Alex and Cormac drunkenly attempting to follow along. Andrew and Cody sat on a bed and watched that madness, resolutely refusing to participate.

When Marie put on “The Biker’s Shuffle” she expected much of the same results. Instead, she was the only one familiar with the song and specific dance. Rachel picked it up quickly, Suze and Austin kept mixing up directions and drunkenly crashing into each other. The general hilarity managed to convince both Andrew and Cody to join in, since clearly nobody was handling it well. On a whim, Marie changed her moves to a slightly different version she learned at the local gay bar that the drag queens used to show off how high they could kick. Everyone promptly lost it, as they had all been following along with Marie and now something entirely different was happening. Marie caught the giggles so hard they morphed into hiccups, at which point Suze took control of the music. 

Finally catching her breath, Marie recognized the song as one of her favorite Latinx hip hop artists. She immediately joined Suze and Austin dancing to the song, the others caught up in some animated conversation. Drunkenly twirling around and rolling her hips with the beat, Marie caught Andrew leaning against the wall and gazing at her. 

He had an endlessly soft look in his eye, like he was gazing at something truly precious. The reverence there was something Marie was wholly unprepared for. Lust or even amused fondness she would have understood, expected. But that wide-eyed gaze, so openly infatuated, stopped Marie dead in her tracks. A flutter like nervousness manifested itself in her stomach, unbidden and unwelcome for how vulnerable it made her suddenly feel.

Marie was smacked in the face with a literally sobering realization: it was going to  _hurt_ when whatever this was with her and Andrew ended. And the look in his eyes made her think that more than likely, Andrew would be in pain, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've laid out the next chapter, and I'm hoping to have it drafted before classes start so I can keep updating somewhat regularly.
> 
> Y'all have been so deeply kind and supportive, and I appreciate it more than I can ever express. Your comments have meant to much to me while I'm in this weird juncture of my life and I'd love it if you kept it up! Please feed a starving grad student in a new city where I don't know anyone some attention lol.
> 
> My tumblr is stilllivingroots (three Ls) so come talk to me there! I am so lonely!


	6. Let the Reason Come on the Common Tongue of Your Loving Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New story description coming soon, since this piece has taken on a life of it's own.
> 
> FINALLY managed to make this chapter work, thanks for being patient with me, y'all.

Despite the clear hangovers, the band managed to not only show up on time for their TV performance, but also nail it. The energy on the way back to the hotel recuperated as they all considered the prospect of a whole day off. It was only three in the afternoon by the time they got back, and they had nothing left to do until the concert on the next night. Some band members were trying to find interesting places to visit nearby, but all Marie really wanted was a lazy day in bed. The bone-deep tiredness of touring had caught her by the throat for some reason. She nodded off next to Rachel after she excused herself from the group plans. 

Andrew crossed over from the other couch to sit next to Marie. She transferred her head to his shoulder, ignoring the fond eye roll Suzanne cast their way.

“Come back to my room?” He asked in a low voice so that only Marie would hear.

“Sure, but I don’t know how fun I’ll be. I think I need a nap,” she confessed, hoping the offer would still be open for later.

“I could use some sleep as well, and the bed’s plenty big enough,” he replied with an almost forced sounding casualness. Marie recognized his tone from when he was worried that he was overstepping or about to be rejected. It made her heart ache a little, that he would fret about whether or not someone liked him when he was so successful. Still so gentle, a little self-conscious. Pressing herself a little tighter to his side, she hummed an agreement, hoping he would understand the assurance that she was trying to confer.

Finally, the bus pulled up to the hotel, and the group headed out for the day split off. Suze caught Marie’s eye with winked as she swept off with the band. Marie flushed and hoped Andrew hadn’t caught it, not wanting him to think that she’d gone around talking about them. _Whatever it is we are._

Andrew placed his hand on Marie’s back as they walked through the lobby together. Once the elevator doors shut behind them, Marie turned to lean against his chest, swaying slightly from being half asleep. Andrew laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close until the doors opened again. 

“Should I carry you back to the room?” he murmured into her hair. She could hear the smile in his voice.

“In these narrow hallways? You’re just as likely to smack my head into the wall. If I have a concussion, I can’t take a nap, and then I would be forced to throw myself into the sea,” Marie said with an eye-roll, prying herself from Andrew’s very comfortable chest to walk down the hallway on her own two feet. His laugh echoed behind her.

He caught up to her in time to unlock the hotel door. Making a beeline for the bed, Marie flopped down face-first with a happy sigh. Andrew snorted.

“Comfortable?” He asked.

“Not particularly,” Marie said muffled into the pillows. 

Andrew laughed again and sat at the edge of the bed. Marie felt her shoes loosen and shifted position enough to see Andrew carefully unlacing her boots and pulling them off her feet. She let out a quiet “oh” at the softness of the gesture.

So gentle, just trying to be helpful. Not expecting or wanting anything, nothing rushed about the shedding of clothes. Andrew had simply seen that she was tired and wanted to make her more comfortable. Such a ridiculously small gesture, but Marie felt like she was choking on her own heart. She’d had relationships last for years where her partner would have never thought to do something like that. Marie buried her face in the pillows again to hide whatever her face might give away. 

Once Marie’s shoes sat comfortably on the floor, Andrew crawled up the bed to press a kiss to the back of her head.

“Get comfy, love,” he murmured into her dark curls, “I’m going to run to the toilet.”

Marie let out a vague hum to affirm that she’d heard him. By the time he returned to the bed, she had curled up under the covers and was long asleep.

 

* * *

 

The woods reminded her of home, but with some noticeable absences. The trees’ twisted, gnarled branches were widened with age but no Spanish moss dripped from its tendrils. The night was dark and cool, no humidity cloying at her skin. The most unsettling difference, however, was the silence. No mosquitos buzzing in her ears, no cicadas screaming from the trees, no bullfrogs or alligators gurgling for mates, not even lightning bugs to illuminate the way. Marie had many a dream, especially as a child, of walking through oak treed swamp lands and following… someone. Her mama always listened when she talked about those dreams, sometimes whispering to her about ancestors and to always listen to what she was told in the dreams. 

A dark figure darted in front of her, like it had so many times before. Marie had held more stock in the dreams when she was younger, but even now she always followed the shadows. If somehow her namesake could visit her dreams, there was no harm in hearing what she had to say. She stumbled further into the woods, fighting the darkness. The figure disappeared behind a tree, and Marie breathed a sigh of relief that the chase was over. She ducked behind the same tree and screeched to a halt.

Before her stood a woman with pale skin and long red hair, who seemed just as shocked to see Marie as she was to see this white stranger in her ancestors woods. Marie glanced around again quickly before her eyes returned to the redhead. They were not, of course, in her ancestors woods; this was no bayou at all.

Marie opened her mouth to ask one of the many questions she had, but the woman began to back away, fading into forest. Just as Marie tried to give chase, her hair was snagged by a branch, pulling her back. She froze as she realized that the branch was moving, scratching its branches against her scalp. Instead of being afraid, Marie felt instantly comforted, soothed by the gentleness of…

Andrew. She blinked her eyes open to find herself curled into his chest, fingers raking slowly through her hair. Marie hummed at the feeling, snuggling further into his warmth.

“Did I wake you?” he rumbled quietly, “I didn’t mean to pull your hair.”

“‘s alright,” she mumbled back, not entirely awake.

Andrew pressed a kiss to the side of her head. Marie felt a soft warmth fill her chest at just how gentle he was being with her. How gentle he always was. Whatever _this_ was had started with the two of them drunkenly discussing pegging and now… well now she intended to suck his soul out of his dick if he’d let her.

She flipped over on top of him, grinning down at his lazy smile.

“Hi,” she murmured, leaning in for a kiss. He breathed out a laugh and leaned up to capture her lips.

Marie luxuriated in kissing him for a few moments before moving to his neck and jaw. Leaning up to nip at his earlobe, she whispered her half-awake intentions into his ear, earning herself a chuckle and zero complaints. With that, she worked her way down his chest to his waistband. Andrew groaned as she wandered off path briefly to suck a bruising kiss to his hipbone. Grinning up at him, she slid her fingers into the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down his ridiculously long legs.

Tucking her thumb tightly into her right fist to assuage her gag reflex, Marie set about attaining her goal with the hazy single mindedness that comes from focusing purely on a physical task. As long as she kept breathing steadily through her nose and focused on relaxing her throat, she could just gaze up at Andrew’s nearly black eyes and search for the edge of hazel. His mouth was dropped open, although only low intermittent groans came out. Determined to make him be loud enough to piss off neighboring hotel guests, Marie redoubled her efforts until he was gasping out her name, desperately clutching at the sheets. Her hand not squeezing her thumb grabbed his right hand to pull it down to her hair. She pulled off of him with a lewd pop.

“You can pull, but don’t push,” Marie rasped, urging him to tangle his fingers into her curls. He nodded, dazed.

Taking him back into her mouth, Marie hummed encouragingly when he tugged at her hair. Andrew was careful not to guide her but simply follow her movements, for which she was grateful. Soon, she was finally able to get him to shout loud enough for the neighbors to hear, so she maintained that pace and intensity until Andrew gasped and groaned her name in warning. Choosing to ignore it, Marie kept her lips sealed around him and swallowed determinedly. There was, after all, no reason to make an unnecessary mess.

“Fuck,” Andrew breathed out, head dropping back into the pillow, “Christ.”

“Nope, just me,” Marie said hoarsely, offering him a lazy grin. Letting out a breathless chuckle, Andrew pulled her up into a kiss, surprising her by flicking his tongue into her mouth. She hummed happily, pressing her body along his.

After a moment’s silence, Andrew seemed to gain his strength back and rolled them over. Giggling, Marie looked up at him through her lashes to see that the dark, hungry look had returned to his eyes.

“Your turn,” he practically growled. Marie swallowed hard as she watched him inch down her body and tug at her waistband. He glanced back up with a question in his eyes; Marie nodded in response, lifting her hips off the bed so he could tug her pants and underwear off in one movement.

Taking her left ankle in his hand, Andrew slowly trailed his lips up her leg, lavishing extra care to the inside of her thigh before finally finding his way to where she wanted his lips in the first place. Again, he paused and made eye contact with her before continuing, so Marie tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him an inch forward until his mouth met her skin. Maintaining eye contact, he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her with a satisfied look flashing through his eyes at Marie’s keening reaction. Wrapping an arm under her left thigh, his eyes closed with concentration and Marie lost all ability to think about anything other than the sensation of his mouth on her.

_Goddamn, he’s good at this,_ Marie thought, gasping out syllables that started as praise but never truly formed into words. All reason and sense of decorum having flown, she grasped harder at the back of his head, pushing him further in between her legs. He hummed happily, the sound of a starving man tasting food for the first time in days. A manic keen escaped her mouth upon feeling the vibrations pulse through her. She gasps something that may have been “Andy” or “baby” but sounded closer to a heathen’s prayer. Her fingers wound through his hair and over his curls like the counting of rosary beads, like the casting of bones, like all the answers could be found in this perfectly blank moment of clarity.

And then, as easy as it had begun, it was over. Marie felt the coil in her tighten further than she thought possible before releasing. Sounds flowed out of her mouth without permission and she clung to Andrew to anchor her through the surprisingly long tide of her orgasm. He was still gently mouthing at her, his tongue flicked against her far-too-sensitive clit, causing her legs to twitch out of her control. Gasping, she pushed his face away and then hauled him up to kiss him like she was drowning.

After a few seconds for Marie to return to earth, Andrew carefully rolled off of her and pulled the covers up around them. Humming happily, Marie pressed herself against Andrew’s side, wriggling until he got the message to wrap his arm around her. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head as she lazily trailed her finger over whatever skin was in reach.

“You know what sounds amazing right now?” Marie murmured some time later, propping her chin up on Andrew’s chest. He hummed curiously in response.

“Chocolate ice cream,” she said dreamily. Andrew chuckled and gazed down at her with an adoring grin.

“Truly the perfect woman,” he said shaking his head fondly. Marie felt a lump form in her throat at his words.

_This is ridiculous,_ she thought.

“Do you think room service has any?” she asked, quickly breaking eye contact to search the room for the menu.

 

* * *

 

“Andy, can I talk to you about something?” Marie managed to blurt out just as he was putting another spoonful of chocolate ice cream into his mouth. He froze, mouth still comically stretched, spoon wavering where the ice cream began to melt and drip over his bottom lip. Marie almost laughed but caught the real panic that flashed across his eyes.

“It’s not anything serious, I just have a confession,” she said, trying and failing to hide her amusement.

Finally, Andrew deposited the ice cream, or perhaps just cream, into his mouth and wiped the chocolate dribble from his scruffy chin. A goofy grin fought its way onto Marie’s face, full on heart-eyes at this ridiculous, incredible man.

“So you know the other night on the bus?

He nodded, eyebrows furrowed.

“Suze saw me get out of your bunk in your t shirt,” she continued, “The dismount was… less than graceful, so she also knows I was naked under it.”

Marie cringed recounting the story. It was not her most stellar moment. Andrew snorted in amusement.

“Anyways, so she asked me about it back in the hotel room, and I really didn’t know what to say,” Marie rambled, “So I mean, she kind of already knew, I mean it was pretty obvious, you know because of the naked thing and the bed…” Marie’s words stumbled over each other as she grew closer to full-on panic.

“It’s alright, love.” Andrew said soothingly, eyebrows furrowed, “I trust Suze; it’s not like she’s gonna go around talking to paparazzi about us.”

He sounded almost puzzled, as though he couldn’t quite decipher why she was worried about the situation at all. For her part, Marie resolutely ignored the part of her brain that played the word “us” in Andrew’s voice on repeat.

“So it’s okay that Suze knows? I mean, I just didn’t want you to think that I’d gone around telling people that we- we’re… you know,” she finished lamely, fully prepared to walk into the ocean and let Poseidon take her to her grave.

Andrew very kindly did not laugh at her bumbling. 

“Yes, of course it’s okay, Marie,” he said reassuringly, leaning closer to drape him arm across her shoulder and press a slightly sticky kiss to her temple.

As relieved as she was to hear that Andrew didn’t at all mind that Suze knew they were sleeping together, the conversation wriggled its way deep into her mind. She found herself trying to pick apart his words, body language, and reactions to everything she had said. 

Of course, Andrew did his level best to distract her for the rest of the day and well into the night.

 

* * *

 

A loud blaring sound that was likely the beginning of a 90s RnB hit jolted Marie awake. Andrew managed to hit the button on his phone fast enough that Marie couldn’t identify the song in her hazy space between wake and sleep. Long arms wrapped around her tight for a few moments, luxuriating in the stillness, before finally he groaned and let go of Marie with a kiss to her hair.

 Andrew rolled out of bed and set about getting ready for the day. Stretching and groaning, Marie moved to join him, but he protested.

“No love, it’s just me for these interviews this morning. You don’t have to get up,” he murmured, gently pushing her to lay back on the bed.

“But this is your room,” Marie sleepily insisted.

“No, no, get up whenever you’re ready, really,” he said, pulling the blankets up over her and turning to find a shirt.

“Hey,” Marie said, catching his arm. She sat back up to pull him in for a long, sweet kiss. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, leaning back to lay down. He smiled softly back at her, that look in his eye that made her nervous returning.

“Of course, my love.”

Marie caught the difference immediately; _my love, not just love._ Andrew’s face betrayed nothing as he turned away to locate his clothing. Sleep didn’t let Marie ponder his words too much, whisking her away the moment her head touched the pillow.

 

* * *

 

It was a few hours later that Marie woke up on her own, sun greeting her through the hotel curtains. She quickly dressed and wandered down to the hotel room she was supposed to be sharing with Suzanne. Her roomie was sitting on the bed, fully dressed and phone in hand.

“Oh hey,” Suze said brightly, “I was hoping you’d come up. You got any plans for the day?”

Marie shook her head.

“Excellent. We’re not too far from Central Park, you wanna take a walk with me?” Suze was practically bouncing, clearly hoping Marie would say yes.

“Sure, just let me change.”

In less than fifteen minutes, the pair had left the hotel and began the walk towards Central Park. The grin on Suze’s face could light up the city, and she hung onto Marie’s arm pointing out landmarks. As infectious as her joy was, Marie’s mind still flitted off every few minutes. Thoughts of Andrew and worries about the future derailed her train of thought too frequently for her to truly pay attention. By the time they reached the park, Suze had noticed.

“Okay, queen of angst, you wanna tell me what’s on your mind?” Suze said with a pointed eyebrow raise.

Marie briefly considered denying it or brushing it off as being tired from the tour. Then she remembered her conversation with Andrew the night before, where he had been entirely unworried about Suze knowing the nature of their relationship. She took a deep breath, and let the entire story spill out, leaving out the explicit details for Suze’s benefit. 

“I just, I don’t know, the whole thing feels so much messier and intimate than I thought it would be and I don’t know if I’m in too deep or…” she trailed off not knowing how to even finish the sentence.

For her part, Suze blew out a heavy breath and nodded for a moment, absorbing the information.

“That’s rough, girl,” she finally said sympathetically, “There’s nothing worse than falling in love with a friends with benefits, but if he’s also your boss? That’s like, the motherlode of terrible ideas.”

Marie stopped in her tracks, causing Suze to pull up short, too.

“I didn’t say I’m in love,” she said quickly, looking at Suze reproachfully. Marie felt some kind of panic set off in her chest at the thought, and she felt that she _had_ to correct Suze.

“I just said that it felt more intimate than I thought it would; I’m not in love with him,” her voice did not hold the amount of calm that she wished it did.

Suze stared at her for a second, a gentle challenge in her face. Refusing to budge, Marie stared back hard. Huffing a sigh, Suze conceded.

“Okay, then, you’re not in love,” she didn’t roll her eyes but it was a near thing, “but he looks at you like you hung the stars, so I’d say you’re definitely in too deep.”

“He doesn’t-” Marie started to protest, but Suze was having none of it. She started walking again, pulling Marie along with her despite her protests.

“Whatever, enough Andy talk. I wanna see the Balto statue!”

 

* * *

 

Energy thrummed through everyone’s veins as they gathered post-show. There was laughing and joking and teasing and shots backstage galore. The bus had been kept somewhere outside the city, so the band was unleashed in a historic New York theatre for about an hour before the bus was finally located. Andrew had already had time to go and meet fans, so everyone piled onto the bus together, already set to leave. 

The band raided liquor cabinet before the long-suffering driver could even put the bus into gear. Marie had meant to track down some Tennessee Honey before leaving New York, but with everything going on it had completely slipped her mind. Resigning herself to mooch off other people’s booze until she could hit up a liquor store, she sat down and waited for everyone to fill their cups.

“Oh, ho, ho, what is this?” Alex asked loudly, spinning around and hoisting a bottle into the air, “Finally decided to join our side, eh?”

He waggled his eyebrows at Marie.

“What’s this?” she asked, reaching for the bottle.

It was heavy, a larger bottle than she would have bought for herself. The label read “Celtic Honey Irish Whiskey Liqueur - crafted with all-natural Irish honey and triple distilled Irish whiskey.”

Marie glanced up, immediately making eye contact with Andrew. He offered her a small smile and took a sip of his drink. Sitting directly next to him was Suze, who stared hard at Marie with her eyebrows raised. 

_In too deep._

_Way too deep._

She glanced back down at the bottle her in hands.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually really proud of how this chapter turned out. I really needed it to bridge between the smut and fluff only part of this story into the feelings 'n shit thats gonna be the rest of it. Plot is fully laid out and the story should be approximately 10 chapter when finished. 
> 
> The response to this story has really been keeping me going, and I appreciate it more than I can ever put into words. I'm all alone in a brand new city and I have no fucking clue why I decided any of this was a good idea, but at the very least y'all have kept me confident in my ability to write. It's nice to know I have something going for me.
> 
> As always, leave me a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed this chapter. Please feel free to hit me up on tumblr at stilllivingroots I'm often lonely and bored.


	7. But You Don't Know What Hell You Put Me Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to hell, kids. It's time for some plot.
> 
> Featuring: too many phone calls and my very limited knowledge of how the music industry actually works.

Marie woke up from a fitful sleep, the tour manager’s words from last name rolling over in her mind. She’d been pulled aside after the show before they boarded the bus, and Caroline revealed to her that the company hadn’t found a replacement for her once her contract ended. The band was still in need of a backup vocalist/percussionist once it left the States for the European leg of the tour. With a slightly desperate look in her eye, she offered Marie an extension on her contract until the end of the European tour and the second half of the American leg as well, if she wanted it. Marie had been so stunned, she nearly accepted on the spot without considering it. The initial shock faded quickly, though, and she had requested some time to think about it before giving her answer. 

All night thoughts of Europe, Andrew, and all the ways something could go wrong jostled Marie almost as much as the pockmarked highways disappearing beneath the bus. It had been a week and a half since New York, and she and Andrew had stolen every moment together that they could. From making out in dressing rooms like teenagers to slowly taking each other apart in hotel rooms, Marie felt like Andrew’s fingerprints had become part of her skin. She could feel when he walked into the room before she ever saw him, like her body was so tuned to Andrew’s presence that something clicked into place whenever he was close enough. Except that, somehow, he was never ever close enough. If Marie could crawl straight into his skin and live there, she would. He kissed her like he was trying to do the same.

Marie was really and truly too scared to actually examine her feelings for Andrew, especially in relation to her job. So she did what anyone not willing to take full adult responsibility for something does; call her mom and hope she gives her an excuse.

After she had polished off the requisite amount of coffee necessary for this sort of conversation, Marie texted her mother asking her if she was free to talk. Of course, Mama called her immediately instead of texting back. Marie sighed and picked up the phone, making apologetic eyes at the other unawake band members in the common area.

“Hey, Mama.”

“Hey baby, been a long time since I heard your voice.”

“I know. I been real busy on this tour,” Marie said apologetically. 

“Oh I know sweetheart, I just worry you out there on the road. They take care of you? You eating enough?”

“Yes mama, everyone’s real sweet, and they even feed us sometimes.”

“Oh ha-ha, taking a tone with me? Just because you’re big an’ all famous now don’t mean you play around with your mama like that,” her voice rose enough that it probably carried through to the others. Cormac raised an eyebrow at Marie. She ducked her head and walked back to the bunks to carry on the conversation.

“Sorry, Mama, I ain’t disrespecting you.”

“I know, sha. Where all y’all at now?”

“We just played in Indiana last night, we’re driving out to Kentucky now. That’ll be our last show before we start doing the festival circuit.”

“And just when is it that you’re coming back to ‘Nawlins?”

“Well the American festivals run through June and part of July before they leave for the European leg.”

“An’ that’s when you’re coming home?”

“Well… that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about, Mama.”

She made a knowing-mother sort of sound.

“The tour manager told me last night that they haven’t found someone to replace me on the Europe leg yet. She said that if I want to extend my contract and go with them I can. I told her I needed to think about it first.”

“Well, sha, do you wanna go?”

“Of course I wanna go to Europe, Mama, it’s just…” here Marie stopped, not sure what she should tell her mother. Especially while sitting in her bunk where someone could overhear. 

“Just what, baby?”

“It’s a long time to be gone, s’all. Don’tcha need me back home?”

“Well I sure do miss you, but unless you got something lined up back here, I think you should keep going.”

“Really?”

“This is your dream, Marie, or at least the closest you’ve got so far. You got a steady paycheck, place to live, and a real opportunity to get into the music business. Baby, you deserve this chance to see the world and sing your pretty little heart out while you’re still young.”

“Oh… thanks Mama, that’s real sweet…”

“Oh what’s wrong, sha? Why ain’t you excited?”

“I am, Mama!”

“Is there something goin’ on? That man ain’t treating you poorly, is he?”

“No, no, Ma, Andy’s real sweet. He’s a good boss... or whatever he is. And a good friend,” She just barely managed to keep herself from stumbling over the word ‘friend.’

“Well alright then. I think you should take it, but you’re grown now and you make your own decisions. I appreciate you still listening to what your mama has to say.”

“I love you, Mama.”

“I love you too, baby. I got to run now, almost time for my shift,”

“Alright, I’ll call you soon as I can.”

“Know you will, bye now.”

“G’bye.”

Marie heaved a big sigh to herself and wandered back to the common area. Another cup or two of coffee was calling her name.

 

* * *

 

It’s late, they’re drunk, and they might be somewhere in Kentucky. Marie bemoaned the drinking of Irish whiskey in the heart of bourbon country and didn’t mean a single word of it. She hadn’t bothered with a cup in hours, happily swigging straight from the bottle and gesturing wildly with it when necessary. Drinking to forget is so much easier when no one else knows that you’re doing it. Instead of being a cautionary tale, you’re the life of the party.

Andrew was decidedly not the life of the party, but who could blame him? Several straight nights of performing, meeting fans, and running daytime interviews left him with far less recuperation time than the rest of the band. He was putting up an effort, of course, smiling and talking with everyone. Doing his best to keep his eyes open. Marie wished he would just rest, and somehow also wished that she could wind her fingers through his hair.

“Andyyyy,” she called, grinning at him. He glanced up from his conversation with Alex to beam back at Marie.

“Yeah?”

“You ever have your hair braided?”

“Can’t say that I have, no,” his lips twitching with amusement.

“Ohmigod, c’mere. Your hair is beautiful, and that is a travesty,” Marie slurred, not giving any kind of shit how the rest of the band perceived it. Andrew laughed, brushing his hair back shyly and rubbing his hand across his stubble. He maneuvered over to sit in front of where Marie was on the couch, leaning so that his back pressed to her legs. Instead, Marie opened her knees so that he sat between them with his shoulders against the seat.

Careful not to snag his hair, Marie raked her fingers through his dark curls, gently separating any tangles. He let out a quiet hum of approval that she felt more than heard.

“I used to know how to do all kinds of crazy braids growing up, but I don’t remember any of them now,” Rachel said from where she lounged next to Marie. 

“I’m a little out of practice, but I definitely remember how to French braid,” replied Marie, still slowly detangling Andrew’s hair.

“Yeah, we had to do that in theater growing up…” Rachel continued, leading them into a conversation about musical theater versus choir, and how it compared to what they were doing now. At one point Marie actually began to French braid Andrew’s hair, but the whiskey had made her fingers loose. She undid her sloppy work and tried again, still caught up in her conversation with Rachel. 

Sometime during all of this, Andrew’s head had found its way to Marie’s knee. His cheekbone rested perfectly in the space above her kneecap, and the rhythmic raking of fingers through his hair had lulled him to sleep. By the time Marie had realized this, she wasn’t sure how long he’d been out. Her conversation with Rachel had dovetailed into many a topic and she’d all but forgot her original intention to braid Andrew’s hair. Instead, she’d just been running her fingers through his curls over and over while he slept, just as he had done for her back in New York. And just like he was then, she was loathe to wake him up. 

Rachel announced that it was time for her to hit the hay. Glancing down to say goodnight to Andrew, she stifled a laugh at seeing him passed out against Marie’s leg, mouth dropped open with the probability of drool.

“Poor guy, must be hard trying to sleep in the bus when you’re a living tree,” she said with quiet amusement, shaking her head fondly.

“I hate to wake him up,” Marie agreed, “He must really need the sleep if he decided my bony knees made for a good pillow.”

“Yeah, well, can’t let him sleep like that. He’ll have a hell of a crick in his neck, and you need to get some rest as well, Marie,” Rachel reached out and shook Andrew’s shoulder gently, “C’mon, Andy, you gotta move to bed.”

Andrew made a sleepy snuffling sound in response and tucked his face into the crook of Marie’s knee. It might have been the most precious thing Marie had ever seen, and she was fairly sure that her heart was going to explode.

“Hey, honey, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable, okay?” Marie murmured quietly, scritching her fingers across his scalp in the way that always made him hum happily. In response, Andrew accompanied the predicted noise of appreciation with turning his head to press a soft kiss to the palm of Marie’s hand.

Rachel’s eyes followed the movement and widened almost imperceptibly. After only a fraction of a second of silence, she met Marie’s eyes and nodded.

“Looks like you’re on tree duty, Marie,” Rachel said brightly with what might have been a wink, “I’m headed to bed. G’night, y’all.” With that, she disappeared back into the bunks. Marie blinked slowly at the space where Rachel had once stood.

_That is a problem for Sober Marie,_ Drunk Marie thought resolutely. 

“You’re gonna have to stand up on your own, my guy, I am too drunk and too short to carry you to bed,” Marie said, patting Andrew clumsily on the face. He snorted before slowly unfolding his body into the standing position. Taking Marie’s hand, he hauled her up off the couch and leaned in for one last goodnight kiss in the empty bus lounge before they walked back to their separate bunks.

 

* * *

           

The band had arrived at the first festival of the season and been unceremoniously dumped at the hotel whilst Caroline whisked Andrew off to do promotional things. Marie was planning to catch a band or two at the festival if she could, but before that she needed a shower and a nap. After showering and being left alone with her thoughts, however, Marie knew she wouldn’t find sleep. It was time to bite the bullet that made all of this real:

She had to tell Valerie about Andrew.

Val had more or less materialized into Marie’s life as a fully formed best friend at a college dorm party during their freshman year. Twenty drunk eighteen-year-olds crammed themselves into one of the larger dorms on campus and were drinking like it was their last night on earth. Marie had drunk about three cups of jungle juice and was talking to some drunk business major. Upon learning that she was a music major, he tried to get a rise out of her or neg her into saying something self-deprecating, but Marie wasn’t about to take shit from some Kappa Alpha Whatever named Brad. When he had prodded her to “sing something then,” she immediately hoisted herself onto a chair and began to belt her own version of Amy Winehouse’s “Valerie” cover. By the end of the first verse, Kappa Alpha Brad had been put in his place, a group of drunk girls were singing along, and a girl with bright pink streaks in her hair appeared in front of her.

“My name is Valerie and I’m usually annoyed when people sing that song. That’s the best I’ve ever heard it, though, so we’re going to be friends,” she’d announced to Marie, hands on her hips like an important matter had been settled. Val had held back Marie’s hair that night when she’d puked into a bush after a fourth cup of jungle juice. After Marie returned the favor at the next ill-advised party, their friendship was written in stone.

Sighing and rolling over in the hotel bed, Marie, grabbed her phone and shot a quick text to Val.

 

**To: Valeriiiiieeee**

Hey, I’ve got some time off and hella shit to tell you. You busy?

**From: Valeriiiiieeee**

Nah, call me

 

Marie dutifully called, and Val picked up after the first ring.

“Marie, my love, the shining star herself!” Val shouted grandly, as though announcing her name at an awards show. Marie laughed.

“Hey, boo, I miss you.”

“Aw, I miss you too,” Val cooed.

“So I gotta tell you something, but you can’t freak out. Well, you’re gonna freak out but like, contain it please,” Marie said, cutting straight to the chase.

“Please dear god tell me you fucked the famous guy,” and honestly, yeah Marie should’ve predicted that. Val had all but pushed condoms into her hands when Marie told her who she was touring with.

“...”

“Oh my god, I’m so fucking proud of you!” Val practically screeched. Marie huffed out a laugh.

“Well, thanks but it’s like, a whole situation now.”

“Wait wait wait, how did this happen?”

Marie took a deep breath.

“So, about three weeks ago, we were drinking on the bus…” Marie told the story and tried to leave out explicit details. Val, of course, did her best to pry them out of her. 

“Wait, you’ve slept with him more than once?”

“Ha, yeah, kind of every time we get a chance to be alone together,”

“Damn! Is it always crazy like that?”

“No, no, I mean we had a couple shows every night in a row for a while, so last night we didn’t even hook up. We were so tired that once we got up to the hotel room all we did was like, cuddle and fall asleep.”

“Y’all share a hotel room? That’s brazen as fuck, good for you,”

Marie laughed. “No, I technically share a room with Suzanne. She caught us like two weeks ago, but she doesn’t care. I think she likes being able to have the hotel room to herself.”

“Makes sense. So y’all are fucking, like, all the time but the band doesn’t know? I mean except Suzanne?”

“Yeah, basically.”

“Holy fuck,” she stated in the eloquent way only an English major could, “So wait, what’s the problem?”

The deep sigh that escaped Marie’s mouth came straight from her soul without asking her body’s permission to manifest. 

“Oh my god, did you catch feelings?” Val asked, shock and sympathy bleeding through her voice. 

“He’s just so kind!” Marie burst, “I didn’t mean to!” 

“Oh, honey, no it’s okay. You don’t have to make excuses. You know you’re allowed to have feelings right?”

“I know, but they’re so fucking inconvenient,” grumbled Marie.

“Okay, edgelord,” Marie could hear the fond eye-roll in Val’s voice, “I don’t suppose you’ve actually talked to him about this.”

“God, no! Can you imagine what a disaster that would be?”

“Have you considered that he could feel the same?”

Marie snorted derisively in response.

“Oh c’mon. From what you said, it sounds like he’s got it just as bad as you.”

“He’s just nice! I swear to god, of course the first time someone I have sex with actually treats me like a person, I gotta fuck it up by being a sap.”

“Jesus, Marie, I know you’ve had rotten luck with partners and you’re on this ‘do it all on my own’ shit right now. But do you really want to ignore a real possibility of a healthy relationship because you’re scared of emotions?”

“Yes,” Marie muttered petulantly.

“Marie,” Val chided.

“He probably doesn’t feel the same way, though! He’s fucking famous and has hella money, and I bet there’s supermodels and poets throwing themselves at his feet constantly. I’m just convenient to let off steam on tour.”

“ _Marie._ ”

“And if he doesn’t feel the same way, can you imagine how awkward that would be? Fuck, just stuck on a tour bus and watching him perform every night?”

“Honey, you’re both adults and professionals. Even if he didn’t feel the same way, I’m sure you could keep working together.”

“I just… I don’t think I could do it,” Marie swallowed a lump in her throat, “I think it would hurt too much.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“Oh,” Val sounded suddenly very quiet. Marie knew it was because she was shocked. They had been close for a long, long time and Marie very rarely got overwhelmed with emotion. On only one occasion, during college, Marie had shown up unannounced to Val’s dorm and cried for hours. It had been her first real heartbreak, after a girl who’d strung her along with sex and sweetness for months of random phone calls and screaming matches finally told her that she had never meant “I love you” like “that.” In the five years since, Marie had casual partners and nothing more, focusing entirely on making it in the music scene. Finally, Val broke the pregnant pause.

“How much longer is left on the tour?”

“Yeah, so here’s the thing…”

 

* * *

 

 

Festival crowds were really something else. Somehow the energy was just so different, and as a result, Marie felt different. For one, coming off stage while the sun was still up. In theory, she could do something else with her day before going to bed, but the show had sucked all her motivational energy out and left her with a strange, shaky anxiety likely influenced by her ongoing inner conflict over the European tour.  

Marie knew that she should find a constructive way to deal with the anxiety, instead of just drinking post-show. The healthiest option, she supposed, would be to go back to the hotel and track down the gym. Doing something physical should keep her from spiraling any further. She considered this on the bus back, nervously twisting her favorite ring and refusing drinks from the rest of the band. Andrew caught her vibe from across the bus and came to sit next to her.

“Show went well,” he said mildly, “Not interested in celebrating?” Andrew nodded towards the rest of the band taking shots.

“No, just not interested in drinking,” Marie answered, “I’ve been doing that a lot lately.” She wasn’t quite lying, although that wasn’t really the whole truth.

“Interested in celebrating in other ways, then?” he asked in a low voice, catching her eye. Marie snorted, despite herself.

“God, what a line,” she said, cracking a grin. He beamed back with his goofy, oversized smile that did flippy things to Marie’s heart, _that bastard._

“I have much worse ones than that, if you’d like me to try,” he responded cheekily. Marie cast a sideways glance at him.

“No, Mr. Byrne, I do believe I’ve heard enough out of you,” Marie said, adopting a southern belle accent, complete with an eyelash flutter. It was meant to continue the joke, but the moment “Mr. Byrne” left Marie’s lips, something darkened behind Andrew’s eyes.

_Oh damn._

The bus rolled to a stop in front of the hotel. 

“I’m in room 507,” Andrew practically growled.

Marie bit her lip and caught onto his arm.

“Hey, but not right now okay? I’ve got… there’s, like too much happening in my head. I need some time to just chill out in my hotel room,” Marie said in a rush, worried that Andrew might be annoyed at her for brushing him off. Of course, he knew Andrew wasn’t like that but she couldn’t help that ugly little curl of anxiety wrapping tighter around her lungs. Andrew must have seen something in her face because he immediately softened, placing a hand on her knee.

“Of course, my love,” a crease formed in his brow, “You never- don’t feel like-”

“No, I know,” Marie said quickly, “I want to, I just need to not be so anxious.”

Andrew glanced quickly around the bus, which had pulled up to the hotel. Most of the band was in the process of piling off the bus and loudly discussing their plans for the rest of the idea, not paying the slightest attention to Andrew and Marie. He turned back to her and pressed a quick kiss to her temple, his hand squeezing her knee in tandem.

“Take all the time you need,” he said quietly, standing up and offering her a hand. When he pulled her up, Marie wrapped an arm around his waist for a quick hug. 

“Thank you,” she said muffled into his chest.

 

* * *

 

“So I was talking to Caroline,” Suze said before the hotel door had even clicked shut behind her. Marie suppressed a groan. _So much for avoiding it for a night._

“You going to Europe?” Suze asked, collapsing onto the edge of Marie’s bed to pull her shoes off.

“I hadn’t planned on it before she asked. Our contracts were set to expire at the same time,” Marie said, sitting up against the headboard.

“Yeah, but I’m leaving because I have something else lined up. Do you?”

"Not really…”

"Then why the hesitation? It’s an incredible opportunity,” Suze turned to face Marie fully and raised an eyebrow. 

Marie sighed heavily in response.

“Ah… I thought so,” Suze said nodding sagely.

“What does that mean?” Marie asked, vaguely annoyed.

“This is about your thing with Andrew.”

“What makes you say that?” Asked Marie, not even bothering to deny it.

“Why else would a musician turn down a guaranteed paycheck for another three months?”

“... Fair,” Marie conceded.

“So? What gives? Did you have some kind of fall out?”

“No, it’s not like that,” Marie chewed on her lip for a second before she found that she really wanted Suze’s honest advice on the issue.

“Okay so, can you promise that this conversation stays between us?” Marie asked.

“Of course.”

“Alright. So. I’m worried that if I offer to extend my contract, Andrew will feel obligated to keep me on because of the whole thing with us. I don’t want to be here just because I’m sleeping with the boss, you know? And like if there’s someone out there who should be in this position that isn’t me… then I can’t feel comfortable knowing I’m just here on some kind of weird charity?”

Suze’s brow furrowed like she was about to argue with this, but Marie pressed onward.

“I mean, that’s what I’m concerned with on a professional level. I also don’t want, you know, the nature of our relationship to impact like the professionalism of the band or raise questions if people find out. I wouldn’t want to put Andy in that kind of situation. 

“But also. I feel like I have to look out for myself, and my feelings, you know? Because I didn’t think this would go as far as it did… and I certainly didn’t expect to feel the way I feel about him now.”

Suze made a quiet “oh” noise as she realized what Marie was rambling about.

“The thing is, it’s not his responsibility to deal with my feelings, that’s on me. With this being the casual sort of thing that it is, it could end at any moment. I’m an adult and a professional, I could deal with that. But I don’t know that I want to put myself through that. I don’t want to have to get over my feelings about Andrew with two months left on the tour when I’ll be constantly in the same space as him, singing his love songs on stage every night. That’s a kind of torture I don’t think I could ever come back from.” Marie finished, choking up a little on the last line.

Suze shifted closer to Marie to pat her on the leg.

“Honey… you are so stupid,” she said sympathetically.

“I know,” Marie said miserably, wiping her nose.

“No, dumbass, not like that,” Suze rolled her eyes, “Andy is so goddamn over the moon for you, it’s a little ridiculous.”

“What?” Marie jerked back, “He told you that?”

“No, but anyone with eyes can see the way he looks at you.”

“It’s just like, lust or whatever,” Marie said, waving it off, “We just have really good sex.”

“Cool, didn’t want to know that, and not my point,” Suze said, rolling her eyes again.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Suze, but it’s more complicated that just my squishy feelings.”

“Fine, whatever, don’t believe me about Heart Eyes McGee. But if you really want to know if you belong on the tour, just call the hiring company. Most of those decisions don’t go through Andrew if he’s on tour. It’ll only come to him if it’s a choice between you and someone else. It sounds like they haven’t found anyone who could replace you yet.”

“So wait, I could just like call them and say that if they don’t find someone in the next two weeks then I’ll do it? And Andrew wouldn’t have to feel obligated to hire me?” Marie asked, an idea formulating.

“Conceivably, yeah.”

“That’s actually perfect,” Marie mused.

“I still think you should actually _talk_ to Andrew about all of this,” Suze said pointedly.

“He’s too kind, I don’t want to put him in that position.”

“Whatever, you wanna go check out the hotel bar?” Suze asked, clearly in need of a drink.

“Sure, just one drink though,” Marie responded. 

Suze looked sideways at her then cackled loudly.

“You make a compelling argument,” Marie said with a grin.

 

* * *

 

Marie waited until she had a moment alone on the bus before the next festival to make the call to management. Most everybody had piled off the bus to tend to equipment or hunt for some food. Instead, Marie wandered back to the bunks for some privacy to make the call. She dialed the number and went through the complicated phone tree of numbers and secretaries to get Mr. Desmond on the line.

“Hello, this is Denis Desmond speaking,”

“Hello Mr. Desmond, this is Marie Leara, vocalist on the Hozier tour.”

“Oh hello, Marie. What can I do for you?”

“I heard you’ve been having trouble finding someone to fill my spot for the European leg of the tour.”

“Yes, I assume Caroline talked to you?”

“She did.”

“Are you interested in extending your contract?”

“It’s a fantastic opportunity, but it is pretty short notice. Can I make you an offer?”

“Shoot.”

“If you still haven’t found someone two weeks from now, I’ll extend the contract. If you find someone to replace me though, go ahead and hire them.”

He hummed in consideration.

Marie was focused on the phone conversation and never noticed someone walking back onto the bus. 

“Just… don’t bother Andrew about it. I don’t want him to choose between me and someone else. As soon as you’ve got someone who can replace me, give them my contract.”

The tall figure who’d boarded the bus froze, knowing he was never meant to have heard this part of the conversation. Before Marie could turn around and spot him, he slunk back off of the bus, confused and troubled by what he had heard.

“Alright, a little unconventional but doable,” Mr. Desmond continued to the unaware Marie, “We’ll let you know in two weeks’ time.”

“Okay, thank you so much.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Marie grabbed her outfit for the show that night and left the bus. Andrew was nowhere to be seen, so she linked up with Rachel to go find something passable to eat before call time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, sorry for the long wait! Grad school continues to kick my ass. Someone gave me the plague though so I had lots of time to sit around and write these last couple days.
> 
> This story is gonna get a bit more angsty and plotty for a chapter or two, but I promise yall you will get more smut and fluff before its done.
> 
> A very very sincere thank you to everyone who's read this fic and commented something kind. You're all absolute angels and i really hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. 
> 
> Extra extra special thanks to pipinglover on tumblr! Valerie would not exist without her <3
> 
> If you liked what you read (or didn't, I'll take criticism too) please please leave a kudos or a comment! Feedback means the world to me.


	8. Don't Let Me in with No Intention to Keep Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow so its been awhile huh?
> 
> grad school is fucking wild and i finally got my job sorted out so i've been running around like a maniac this past month. im v cold and tired and stressed and also maybe sick BUT i bring you this piece of shit chapter lol

When the time came to do the pre-show huddle, Marie was starting to narrow her mind. She needed to focus down to just the concert and not let the chaos in her brain affect her performance. Standing between Alex and Rachel, she didn’t even notice when Andrew’s eyes skipped past her as he led the usual chant. Everyone separated to go to the stage, and Marie smiled at Andrew as she passed. He looked away, but she thought nothing of it. They were both in performance headspace.

The show went well, the crowd carrying their energy through the whole set. Despite turning to face other band members, Marie was never able to catch his eye on stage. After both “Dinner and Diatribes” and “Moments Silence” passed without so much as an eyebrow quirk, Marie felt a little put out. She felt she was being a little ridiculous but those songs in particular she couldn’t help but think of as “their” songs, especially the line about hotel grievances. But it was a big crowd at a major festival so she figured Andrew had more on his mind than their little tryst. Somehow, that thought only made her feel worse.

The show ended with an intense encore and finally a bus to sweep them back to the hotel. Despite all the energy required of her to perform, Marie didn’t get that bone-aching tiredness she usually felt. She felt a little keyed up and ready to forget all her concerns about her job and all the feelings she had for Andrew. At that moment, she was ready to be railed into a mattress until she couldn’t remember her own name. On the bus, however, Andrew stayed engaged in an energetic conversation with Alex and never meets her eyes. Upon arriving to the hotel, Andrew disappeared immediately up to his room. Marie understood the tendency to want to shower, particularly after a festival performance, so she shot him a text to ask which room was his and if she could come up that night before hopping in her own shower. 

After a nice long and hot shower, Marie eagerly checked her phone to see no reply. _Maybe he fell asleep,_ she thought. Still too keyed up for a nap herself, she accompanied Suze to the hotel bar. Suze was an angel and only raised her eyebrows a few times at Marie obsessively checking her phone. Once it was nearly midnight, she mildly suggested that they could go find a different bar. Marie relented, figuring if he hadn’t texted by then, Andrew must have gone to bed for the night. 

She woke up the next morning to still no text and to find that she and Suze had somehow managed to fall asleep in the same bed. Neither recalled making the choice to do that and as a result decided that maybe tequila was not a thing one should drink while on tour. Or perhaps at all.

 

* * *

 

Marie had figured that night and the following day on the bus when she never had a chance to talk to Andrew had been a fluke, a byproduct of busy tour schedules and the stress of festival season. But the pattern continued. On the bus, Andrew would either be in conversation with others or holed up in his bunk. He hadn’t messaged her separate from the band group chat, her texts about hotel rooms and questions going unanswered. A familiar and horrible anxiety took root in her chest and refused to let go no matter how much alcohol she poured down her throat. Her memories of college heartbreak scratched at a still-tender piece of her that liked to whisper that she was unwanted; unwantable. 

AJ had been in many ways the polar opposite of Andrew. Short and tan with close-cropped hair and a mean streak that would pop up out of nowhere. No matter how much Marie would try to measure her words, not make too many stupid jokes, not show her feelings, AJ would always find a way to cut Marie off and say something hurtful. If Marie showed it bothered her at all, AJ would only dig in worse. It was the sort of relationship Marie had always, always told herself she could never get in and would absolutely never stay in. It’s so easy to say that, until it happens to you.

Marie wishes she’d been the one to end the relationship, that she had finally stuck up for herself and told AJ she wouldn’t be treated like that anymore. Instead, AJ had said “I love you” and Marie had responded in kind, and AJ said, “but not like that” and left, literally in the rain like some awful movie cliché while Marie cried and begged her to stay. Shortly after, she had stumbled into Val’s apartment, sobbing and gasping for ten minutes before she’d finally explained what had happened. Then she’d convinced Val that she needed to hug her in order to stop Val from “kicking the living shit out of that weaselly bitch.” Marie had actual long-term relationships end, but never in her life had she felt the kind of pain she felt when AJ said, “but not like that.”

Or, at least, she hadn’t until it had been a week since Andrew had said more than two words to her. 

It was difficult to eat, breathe, sleep, even speak with just how tight the vines of anxiety wound inside her chest. She had to remind herself constantly to sit up straight and fill her lungs just so that she knew she wasn’t actually drowning. His eyes skipped over her, he brushed past her without an acknowledgment, and Marie felt herself ripping apart. _You’ve always known how unlovable you are,_ the voice would hiss, _why would you pretend? You’ve done this to yourself._

But if she’d learned nothing else from her previous heartbreak, she’d learned that she was a resilient-ass bitch. That semester AJ had ripped her heart out she’d lost nearly forty pounds and had to go to the hospital, plus her family had been in the middle of a health crisis. Marie had also done every single bit of work, had only missed one class from being in the emergency room, and made straight As in all of her courses. It didn’t matter how much she was dying inside, Marie knew how to get shit done and done well. So that week she performed her heart out, sang all his love songs, sex songs, break up songs, right along with him nailing every note and letting herself get lost in the music. Her social media accounts suddenly blew up after she’d been identified in concert videos and messages from his fans poured in, gassing her up with how much they loved to watch her perform. Sometimes Marie considered getting her heart broken more often. Maybe that’s the secret to great art, never letting your heart heal.

_Alright, that’s enough feeling sorry for myself,_ Marie thought, shaking herself out of her reverie. She glanced over herself in the dressing room mirror one last time before leaving to go check her equipment one last time. Popping down the hall, she took stock of all her various percussive instruments on autopilot, her before-show routine was practically muscle memory after several months on tour. She sighed and cracked her neck quickly, attempting to release some of the stress tension that had gathered in her shoulders. A sudden noise startled her out of her half-trance.

Marie turned around to find Andrew walking into the room. They both froze, not expecting to see the other so suddenly. Her heartbreak set aside, Marie found an anger rising in her, the force of which surprised her. How _dare_ he just use her like that; sex was one thing, but all those sweet words whispered in hotel rooms, the lingering touches? He’d treated her like a partner and now he was just brushing her off? The scar of an old wound ached somewhere deep in Marie. 

_If you just wanted to fuck, you never should have held me like that._

Original intentions forgotten, Marie moved to brush past Andrew. If she stayed in this room, she knew she’d end up screaming. For one reason or another.

Her shoulder knocked into Andrew’s, or more accurately into his chest. He whipped around and caught her by the wrist, not tightly or forcefully, but just the feeling of his fingers pressed to her pulse point was enough to stop Marie dead in her tracks. She turned towards him, spine straight and eyes defiant, exuding as much _fuck you_ energy she could. Andrew blinked, clearly taken aback.

“Can I help you?” she asked coolly. 

“I-” Andrew trailed off, glancing down at her lips. Marie wanted to scream. Their bodies were so close, they were alone together for the first time in days and Marie _ached_ with how much she wanted him. But he’d blown her off, ignored her, acted like he had no interest in her. He avoided her eyes on stage, refused to speak to her on the bus, but now here he was, looking at her like he wanted to devour her whole. 

Marie really _really_ wished she had some kind of self-respect. Instead, she used his grip on her wrist to yank him towards her so she could capture his lips. 

She tangled his fingers deep in his hair, tugging harshly at the roots harder than she had ever dared. Andrew gasped into her mouth, practically going slack before letting out a low groan that rumbled through both of their chests. 

“God, sometimes I think you just want me to wreck you completely,” Marie hissed against his mouth, pulling at his hair. 

And then he was gone. 

Or rather, upon hearing the phrase “wreck you completely,” Andrew had dropped to his knees so suddenly that Marie nearly lost her balance. He stared up at her wide-eyed, like she was the divine appearing to a devoted prophet and drowning him in the ethereal ecstasy of enlightenment. All slights forgotten in that particular moment, Marie gently cupped his face with the hand not still tangled in his hair and pressed her thumb against his lips until he took the hint to suck on it like it might save his life.

“Look at you, so goddamn good for me,” Marie rasped out. She pulled her thumb out of his mouth and Andrew fell forward, pressing his face insistently to the inseam of her jeans, mouthing uselessly at the zipper. Marie was certain she could die right there, could maybe even come from just the sight. She ran her fingers through his hair as he buried his face in her lap, eyes half-closed like he was drunk on it, and considered just what she wanted to do to him.

And then, of course, the real world broke in as they heard someone shout from down the hallway that it was five minutes to pre-show huddle. Andrew groaned into her thigh before sitting back, pupils blown and cheeks red. Marie immediately pulled him up to his feet and into a kiss before he could get back on whatever bullshit it was that made him ignore her for the last week. If nothing else, he was going to have to think about how good they were like this. She broke from his desperate and biting kiss to latch onto the side of his neck. Half expecting Andrew to push her away when he realized what she was doing, she made quick work of sucking a mark in a rather obvious location. For his part, Andrew simply groaned and wrapped his arms even tighter around her waist, not letting go even when she pulled back to brush softer kisses over the bruised skin. She chuckled lightly and leaned up to whisper in his ear that they were needed on stage shortly. He let go and Marie managed to keep what was left of her dignity intact by leaving the room with a wink.

Three minutes later, she was waiting to huddle with most of the band when Andrew finally appeared, followed closely by Suze who gave Marie a suspicious glance.

“What’s with the scarf?” Asked Alex, raising an eyebrow.

Marie, who had been doing her best to look completely indifferent to Andrew, glanced over to see that he had managed to acquire what might best be described as a neckerchief or even an ascot. She glanced over at Suze, who full-on raised an eyebrow at her, leaving no room to question exactly what had happened. It looked vaguely ridiculous, and no one in the band could quite figure out what to say.

“It suits you,” Marie spoke up, feeling a certain amount of justice in being the asshole after a week of being ignored. Andrew muttered a “thanks” without making eye contact with her and gestured for everyone to huddle. Marie tossed her hair back and squared her shoulders, mentally turning on her stage persona and turning off all of her feelings. 

 

* * *

 

Fully intending to ambush Andrew the second there was an opening, Marie positioned herself on the couch directly across from where he sat on the bus. She hadn’t poured herself so much as a shot, not wanting to miss an opportunity or allow Andrew to brush her off with the excuse that she was drunk. Luckily, most of the band seemed ready to turn in early instead of staying up to drink and talk. Alex waved goodnight to everyone and heaved himself off the couch, leaving space for Marie to pounce. She quickly moved to take up residence next to Andrew, casually placing a hand on his knee to keep him from trying to escape. Cody and Austin were still talking several feet away and Marie wanted to avoid this turning into a scene.

“Hey Andy, can we talk?” Marie kept her voice light, but let her intensity come through her on her face when he finally looked at her. 

His eyes shone green, brighter than Marie had ever seen them. The bags under his eyes looked even darker in comparison and the lines between his eyebrows seemed permanently carved there. Andrew was the picture of exhaustion and to Marie’s mild annoyance, she felt her will to push him on this issue evaporate. She sighed heavily.

“Look, you’re clearly tired. You should really get some rest, hon,” she said quietly, the fight gone out of her. Yes, she was heartbroken over his treatment of her in the last week, but she was loathe to see him look so beat down.

She patted his knee gently, intending to stand up and leave him alone. Before she could heave her own weary body off the couch though, Andrew nodded tiredly and leaned into her side. Almost automatically, Marie leaned back against the armrest of the couch and held her arm out in invitation. Andrew let out a contented sigh as he leaned forward to lie his body half on top of hers and tuck his face into her neck. His feet dangled way off the other end of the couch, but when Marie asked if he would be more comfortable in his bed, he made a sleepy noise and wrapped his arm around her waist. Marie breathed out a laugh and pressed a kiss to his hair. A deep, deep ache took root in her chest as she realized just how intensely she’d missed this. Even more so than the sex, she’d loved these moments where he was close to her in every way possible, like she could be his comfort, his home. He already felt like that to her in many ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not super proud of this chapter for how long it took me, but hopefully some of my own personal angst came through to give yall the pain I know you've been expecting of me haha
> 
> so there's two more chapters left for this fic, or more accurately one more chapter and then an epilogue. both of them are outlined and have some scenes already written so ideally they'll be up pretty quickly. more accurately you might get one of them by thanksgiving. lol sorry y'all i really do love writing this im just in Academic Hell rn
> 
> biggest ever thank yous to those of you who kept commenting and messaging me on tumblr! it really motivated me to come back to this piece when I was able to and warmed my heart when i felt like my writing was just not enough. I love y'all more than I can put into words.
> 
> please comment and kudos if you feel so inclined or come yell at me to write more on tumblr @ stilllivingroots


	9. Wasteland, Baby! I'm in Love...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 7,000 years, it's finally here! Get ready for some serious feels kids.

Marie woke to the sudden loss of warmth and pressure, like suddenly being left out in the cold. Grumbling, she opened her eyes to see Andrew pulling himself upright and walk back to the bunks without sparing her so much as a glance. 

_God fucking damnit,_ Marie thought tiredly, mentally kicking herself for thinking that the events of that night would end whatever sudden coolness Andrew had towards her. She scrubbed her hand across her face, willing the tears she could feel forming to _fuck all the way off, thanks._ There was no way she was going to cry over this; not here. With a deep, heavy sigh, she stood and walked back to her bunk where she could at least pretend that she’d be able to go back to sleep, alone this time.

* * *

The next show followed the same pattern as the week before. Andrew avoided eye contact, was careful to never be alone in a room with Marie, and all but ignored her onstage. Suze rolled her eyes at both of them and bothered Marie in private. The amount of times Suze muttered “literally just talk to him, oh my god,” rivaled the amount that Marie considered calling management to drop off the tour entirely. 

Two nights later, Marie and Suze tiredly stumbled into a hotel room in bumfuck nowhere Tennessee after playing Bonnaroo. Marie was looking forward to collapsing into bed and maybe never getting up again when Suze cornered her.

“Alright, that’s it. I’m so fucking tired of you and Andrew moping around like lovesick idiots and refusing to talk to each other.”

Marie opened her mouth to argue but Suze held her hand up, clearly not finished. Exhausted, Marie resigned herself to whatever lecture she needed to endure before Suze let her lie down.

“You are both goddamn adults and you need to communicate like it! I swear to god if he pouts at me and then says that nothing’s wrong one more fucking time I’m going to lose my actual shit,” Suze said, eyes burning with far more intensity than Marie felt prepared to deal with.

“Well then you need to be yelling at him about it. I’ve tried talking to him, but he avoids me like the plague. What am I supposed to do, tackle him into a chokehold until he tells me he doesn’t want to sleep with me anymore? Hard pass, thanks,” Marie muttered bitterly.

“Literally shut up, Marie, he does nothing but stare at you longingly. He looks like a dog someone kicked; it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m fucking tired of it.”

Marie felt that ever-dangerous spark of hope flicker deep in her chest, but she’d felt it before. She had heard “I love you” straight from the mouth of someone she’d been everything for and still had her heart ripped straight from her ribcage. No, she’d need something more concrete than that. She wasn’t even sure what would be enough at this point.

“Suze, I appreciate your concern, I really do. It’s not that I don’t trust you. But if he really feels some type of way about me, why would he have dropped all communication and refuse to even be within ten feet of me?”

“Oh he won’t? Then tell me why he still has my scarf from two days ago,” Suze crossed her arms and raised a challenging eyebrow. Marie swallowed her pride.

“Tell me why I let him fall asleep on me on the bus that night, only for him not to look at me once since then,” her voice came out quiet and sad, a far cry from the defiant tone she’d been going for. Suze’s posture melted immediately.

“Oh, honey,” she said, reaching out to Marie. At first Marie thought she would push Suze away, normally hating pitying gestures, but at that moment all she really wanted was to be held by someone. Suze’s small and reassuring arms reminded her of Val and of home. If she shed a tear or two into Suze’s shoulder, no one had to know.

* * *

It felt like years or maybe the blink of an eye, but suddenly the two weeks were up. Marie was so exhausted she’d forgotten what day it was. After that night’s show, they’d all piled into the bus. Drinks were flowing and finally Andrew appeared to toasts and cheers. Before he could gesture for the driver to go on, Caroline stood up for an announcement.

“A very big congratulations to Marie! Your request to extend your contract through the European leg of the tour has been granted,” Caroline raised her drink and everyone followed suit, “Cheers!”

Marie flashed a smile at everyone, but immediately sought out Andrew’s eyes. They were wide and stunned, staring deeply at her for the first time since he’d rested into her side. The green had faded somewhat but Marie could still see the deep lines of tiredness etched into his face. He blinked and wiped his face into a smooth mask almost instantly. Pouring himself a drink, he raised it and nodded in her direction.

“To Marie,” he toasted gruffly, like he hadn’t expected to speak. He tossed back the whiskey and poured another. Alex came up beside Marie with two shots, handing one to her while shouting his congratulations. In quick succession, everyone on the bus insisted on taking shots with her and patting her on the back. Everyone spoke so loudly and excitedly that Marie just kept drinking to keep up with everyone. It was all far too confusing sober. 

For his part, Andrew sat still looking more than a little dumbstruck. At one point Marie saw Suze come up next to him and ask him something. He just shook his head in response. Not five minutes later, he got up and announced that he was headed to bed early. That earned him a round of teasing “boo”s and plenty of “get some rest”s. Marie sighed and poured herself another drink.

* * *

Deeply hungover and truly regretting just about every decision she ever made, Marie leaned closer to the mirror backstage to fix her lipstick. From the corner of her eye, she could see Suze watching her intently in a way that unnerved her. Rachel seemed to have picked up the vibe and muttered something about needing to talk to Cody before tactfully dipping out of the room.

“Okay, what is it?” Marie sighed.

“You still haven’t talked to Andrew,” Suze said, none too gently.

“Last night was the first time he’s made eye contact with me in a week, Suze. What do you want me to do?”

“He seemed way too surprised that your contract was extended. I know you suggested that they make the decision independently, but you would have thought he’d never heard of a contract before,” Suze insisted.

“I think he was upset. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked not to have him consulted. I don’t think he wants me on this tour anymore,” Marie put down the eyeliner she’d been attempting to apply. “Maybe I should just not sign the extension.”

“Oh my god, now you’re just crazy. Look, I care about Andrew or whatever but I’m telling you right now, you _never_ turn down an opportunity to work. Never ever let your romantic whatever interfere with something like this. You and Andrew just need to talk it out. You know what? I’m tired of this. Stay here and don’t move or I swear to god I will poison your whiskey,” and with that Suze stormed from the room.

A nervous flutter lit up Marie’s stomach, but she dared not move. Of course, she was fairly certain Suze was going to return with Andrew and lord only knows how that would play out, but Marie felt weirdly sure that Suze would make good on her threat. Marie turned back to the mirror to try her eyeliner again. Just as she’d managed to make the wings match on both sides she heard the sound of people coming down the hall. She turned in time to see a confused Andrew being shoved into the room by a less-than-gentle Suze.

“Talk to each other like adults, would you?” She demanded, shutting the door. Andrew and Marie blinked at each other for a moment.

“Feels slightly less than dignified,” Andrew muttered.

“Well if I’d known I needed to resort to such extreme measures to speak to you, I’d have done it sooner,” Marie challenged him, crossing her arms. Andrew deflated.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair to you,” he said quietly looking at the ground.

“It really wasn’t. All I want is some basic communication if you’re just going to drop me like that. We still work together after all,” said Marie. She wasn’t feeling particularly merciful despite how much his kicked-puppy look broke her heart. Suze had been right, she just hadn’t seen it.

“I didn’t mean to - to drop you...”

“Oh no? Then what was I supposed to take from your sudden radio silence?”

“I just, I didn’t want you to feel, I don’t know, smothered?”

“Smothered? Are you kidding me? You ignored me for two weeks straight, what the actual fuck are you-”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-”

“I just don’t know what you want from me, Andrew!” burst Marie, fighting back tears. She had reached the end of her rope and found that she no longer cared about keeping some semblance of professionalism. 

“What… what I want from you?” Andrew asked, startled and confused by the sudden emotion in her voice.

“If you need me to just be your employee, I can be fine with that. If you need me to leave, I can leave! I’ll tell Caroline to cancel my contract. I just… need to know what it is that you _want_ from me,” Marie’s voice grew quieter as she spoke, her fire burning out. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself, she looked up into Andrew’s eyes.

“No, no, I don’t want you to leave! I just don’t want to keep you here, not if you want to go home,” he said, eyebrows furrowed over eyes that looked suddenly ancient in their sadness.

“Home? Why would I want to go home?” Marie said, truly befuddled, “I want to go to Europe and… stay - with everyone,” she added quickly.

“But on the phone you were saying…” Andrew cut himself off quickly, as though realizing he’d said something he shouldn’t have.

“On the phone? When have I ever…” Marie caught the look of guilt spreading across Andrew’s face. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“It’s just, I heard you call the office about the tour and, you know, asking them not to say anything about it to me…” he trailed off, no longer meeting her eyes.

“Jesus, Andrew,” Marie said, “That was two weeks ago, are you kidding me?”

He still didn’t make eye contact. Marie huffed.

“I was asking them to extend my contract to the Europe tour, but I didn’t want you to feel like you owed me to keep me on. I asked them to search for someone else, and that if they found someone more qualified to hire them. If not, then I would like to stay on. I wanted to know that I earned my spot here and that you wouldn’t feel obligated to keep me around.”

Andrew finally looked up from the floor to make eye contact. Fidgeting nervously, Marie ran back through her words in her mind, combing through them to make sure she hadn’t given herself away. It was true, of course, it just wasn’t the whole truth. Her feelings for him were so deeply entangled that she had to make sure her career decisions were happening independently. She took a deep breath.

“So if you don’t want me around, or feel uncomfortable with me staying, please just tell me now. If I refuse the contract, your company might still have enough time to find someone to replace me,” her voice was steady up until the very end, wavering slightly. She prayed he wouldn’t notice.

“What you’re saying is all of this is strictly professional?” He finally asked.

“Yes,” Marie replied.

“And you want our relationship to also be professional?” His voice was very quiet, Marie just barely made out the words.

“What?” 

“You want this to be a professional… thing?” he finished, waving his hand vaguely.

“I mean, I am your employee,” Marie said, thoroughly confused.

“Then, I’m sorry to have complicated it,” Andrew said roughly, turning to exit the room.

Marie’s brain finally connected just what the hell he was talking about.

“Wait, Andrew,” she called. He turned around, clearly trying to keep his expression blank.

“Do you… but what is it that _you_ want?” Marie asked, a dangerous glimmer of hope piercing through. He shook his head with a deprecating laugh.

“It doesn’t matter,”

“Andrew-”

“You know what I want, Marie,” he said, actually making eye contact. Marie could find nothing but sadness behind his eyes, bright green with exhaustion.

“I really _really_ don’t,” Marie rasped, throat tight with equal parts hope and fear.

Another one of Andrew’s stupid alarms went off. He grimaced and checked it.

“Ten minutes to stage,” he muttered, pulling a smooth mask back over his face. Without another glance at Marie, he turned and left the room.

Marie felt like her knees might buckle. So many and still too few things had been said. She tried to breathe her way through the panic; whatever was happening she still had to perform. Looking in the mirror, Marie carefully schooled her face into a confident and blank expression. 

“Whatever else, however you feel, you are talented enough to be here. So you better show them,” Marie whispered to her reflection, straightening her shoulders. With one last lipstick check, she left the room for the huddle where Andrew predictably did not make eye contact. Suze stared between the two of them with a palpable exasperation that meant Marie would get her ear chewed off after the show.

But then it was time to take the stage, so Marie set all of that aside. The audience was fantastic, giving back all their energy. Andrew was giving one of his rawest performances yet, grimacing and growling through all of his heartbroken and desperate lyrics. Even the happier songs became visceral, and the crowd was loving every second of it. 

Marie could barely stand to tear her eyes away from him in the seconds between when she picked up and put down different instruments. Watching Andrew pour his soul onto the stage filled Marie with more of that dangerous hope and made her sing her parts with just as much of her heart back to him. Just like all the other concerts though, Andrew never looked back at her. Marie couldn’t help but wish he would, fully convinced that if only he would look her in the eyes while she sang his own love songs back to him, he would know everything she couldn’t stand to say out loud. No matter how scared she was to say “the l word” about him, Marie could feel it pouring out of her with every note. If he would just _look_ he’d see Marie’s heart laid at his feet, and they could move on in whatever direction he chose from there. But every time he turned, his eyes skipped right past her.

It felt like all the air had been knocked from her lungs as Marie became convinced that if he didn’t see her now, during _this_ show, she might never be able to actually tell him the truth. Another song ended and the rest of the band turned to walk off the stage, leaving only Cormac on piano as a guitar tech scurried out to exchange Andrew’s electric for an acoustic. But something rooted Marie to the spot. Instead of walking off like she was meant to, Marie stayed behind her mic until the lights came back up. She took a shaky breath as Andrew started the song, preparing herself for the risk she was about to take.

“ _All the fear and the fire / Of the end of the world / Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl / Happens grace / Happens sweet / Happily, I'm unfazed here, too_ ” Andrew crooned.

Marie closed her eyes briefly, praying her mic was still on, before the chorus.

“ _Wasteland, baby_ ” Marie sang an octave above Andrew. She opened her eyes and, sure enough, he had turned around to stare at her. Marie looked straight into his eyes and poured it all out in his simple, beautiful melody.

“ _I'm in love / I'm in love with you_ ” she sang clearly, even though Andrew had forgotten to sing with her. He kept strumming the guitar despite his clear shock, more muscle memory than anything else. Andrew blinked but quickly stepped back to put his mouth near the mic in time for the next verse without ever looking away from Marie. 

“ _All the things yet to come are the things that have passed / Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass / Like the bonfire that burns, that all words in the fight fell to_ ” they sang together, Marie still singing an octave above him. The effect was haunting, like ghosts singing their love to each other across a vast distance. The audience had fallen entirely silent. 

“ _Wasteland, baby / I'm in love / I'm in love with you_ ” this time Andrew sang the whole chorus with her, his voice breaking slightly on the first “love” like his lungs couldn’t quite contain the magnitude of the word. One tear escaped from the corner of Marie’s eye and ran down the side of her face, almost entirely unnoticed by her. Andrew’s eyes followed it down to her chin. Their eyes met again and Marie felt for a moment that her chest was torn open. Like she was raw and bleeding right there on the stage, her damaged heart laid at the feet of the man who wrote the music that was wrapped up in her throat. Andrew looked just as devastated, as though they were both groveling at the shrine of a power too immense for them to bear. 

They made it through the next verse, bridge, and chorus, without ever tearing their eyes away from each other. Both stood rooted in place, bound by their stationary mics. Marie was fairly certain it would be impossible for her to move, should she pick up her feet for even a second the intensity of the moment would knock her flat on her back. She gathered a shaky breath, not quite far enough from the mic to keep from it getting picked up.

“ _And I love too, that love soon might end / Be known in its aching / Shown in the shaking / Lately of my wasteland, baby”_ They crooned together as another tear slid down Marie’s cheek. The edges of her love pressed in too sharply on her, like the end of _them_ had her barreling towards a cliff that could come at any second. She had no choice but to show him everything, like pulling every ounce of love out of her would leech the venom from her veins.

“ _Wasteland, baby / I'm in love / I'm in love with you_ ” 

Marie’s voice cracked and shook during the very last chorus but pulled back together enough for her to sing the last note as clear and strong, releasing it the same time Andrew did. He strummed the last few notes, gazing at her like she had given him some sort of divine revelation that he was desperately trying to decipher. There was a beat of silence, physically present like cottoned snowfall had wiped out every other possible sound. It was just Andrew and Marie, begging each other with their eyes to come to the same conclusion and ever so slowly realizing that just maybe, they already had. And then the shattering of their private world as the audience erupted. Andrew jumped slightly, turning to look back at the crowd that likely had no idea what they had just witnessed. Marie’s fight or flight instinct took over her brain the instant she didn’t have his eyes to anchor her, and she fled backstage. 

Stumbling down the steps, Marie caught Suze’s eye, saucer-sized with shock and maybe a little admiration. 

“The balls on you, I swear,” Suze muttered the second Marie was in earshot. Marie just shook her head mutely, fairly certain she might have just ended her entire career. She was grateful that Caroline was in the wings of the other side of the stage. With any luck, she wouldn’t have to deal with it until after the encore. Andrew was meant to exit that side of the stage, too, to wait for the roar of the audience to reach its peak before they all walked back on. Marie was doing her best to catch her breath and calm down before the encore, mentally telling herself that whatever breakdown she was at the edge of would have to wait another two songs. 

Suze, who had been standing next to her with a hand on her arm in comfort, suddenly disappeared. Marie glanced up to see Andrew jogging down the steps off of the stage, hurriedly handing his guitar to the drum tech who held it awkwardly by the neck, glancing around in a panic for someone who knew what the fuck to do with it. Neither Andrew or Marie noticed as their eyes locked. All of the air in Marie’s lungs left so forcefully she wondered for a second if she would pass out. That’s all she needed right now, to top off her rom-com bullshit with a Victorian damsel swoon. _If I pass out, I’m joining a convent in France I swear to god_ , she thought viciously.

Andrew never stopped barreling towards her, vaguely terrifying at his height combined with the fierce intensity in his eyes. He came right up into her personal space, a hand falling to her waist of its own volition. Marie never stood a chance of escape, her eyes drawn to his and locked there for good. She waited for him to say something, anything, but he just stared into her eyes with the same intensity and desperation as he had on the stage, begging her to tell him outright. A strangely affectionate exasperation took hold of Marie. Despite everything, he was still asking her to tell him how she felt. The poor man really could not figure it out on his own. Marie laughed breathlessly, causing Andrew’s eyebrows to knit together in further confusion. 

_God, I love this idiot._

As soon as she thought the words, it was like the dam had broken in her mind. _Love._ She wasn’t even afraid of the word anymore. In that moment, Marie made yet another irreversible choice. 

Reaching up, Marie wrapped her arms around Andrew’s shoulders, pulling him down to her level. She tucked one hand into his hair at the nape of his neck, damp with the sweat of the show, just like she knew he loved. The other hand rested on his shoulder for balance so she could raise up onto her toes to put her lips next to his ear.

“Andrew, I’m in love with you,” she murmured just loud enough to be heard over the still roaring crowd, “I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, and I don’t say that to ask anything of you. It only seems fair that you know how I feel before you decide if I should stay on this tour. I can be professional and set it aside, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, I can decline the contract. I only ask that you be respectful of my feelings and not lead me on if you don’t feel the same way.”

Marie pulled back, removing her hands and settling back on her heels. Andrew’s hand was still on her waist so she couldn’t go back far. His eyes were huge and bright green… and wet. They shone in the dim light as his other hand came to rest on her waist. Marie took a shaky breath, feeling her own eyes start to betray her. Andrew’s mouth opened but before he had the opportunity to say anything, the same deeply uncomfortable drum tech tapped on Andrew’s shoulder.

“Uh, sorry, but it’s time for the encore?” he muttered like a question, trying very hard not to look at either Andrew or Marie. They broke eye contact, glancing up wildly to find everyone in their wing aggressively _not looking_ in their direction. Marie internally cringed.

The drum tech pulled Andrew away, indicating the exasperated guitar tech across the stage, holding the guitar Andrew needed for the encore. Andrew glanced back at Marie one last time with a vaguely panicked expression, but the drum tech more or less pushed him towards the stairs. Relenting, Andrew climbed up to the stage to the delighted roar of the audience. He gave an awkward half-wave as he met the guitar tech in front of his mic to sling the instrument over his shoulder. On auto-pilot, Marie shuffled towards the steps with everyone else. For the life of her, she still wasn’t sure what Andrew would have said had he not been pulled away, and her mind could not quiet down for even a moment. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that she still needed to do her fucking job, _goddamn it_ , when she heard his voice.

“Ehm - if you could excuse me for one moment… I’ll be right back, I promise,” Andrew said hurriedly into the mic, stopping Suze, Rachel, and Marie in their tracks as they were just about to walk onto the stage. Andrew turned, walking towards their wing. Rachel and Suze scattered immediately, and the poor bewildered drum tech was once again handed Andrew’s guitar. 

He swept down the stairs and into Marie’s space exactly as he had done before, except this time he didn’t stop. Andrew bent down as he wrapped his arms around Marie’s waist, mouth crashing gracelessly into hers. She gasped against his lips as her feet suddenly left the ground and Andrew stood up to his full height, cradling her carefully in his arms. Marie felt a tear leak down the side of her face as she kissed him back just as fiercely. Her arms locked tight around his shoulders, like she could physically fuse the two of them together. More gently this time, Andrew reconnected their lips as he slowly lowered her back to the ground. One of his hands came up to cup her cheek, wiping away the tear as he leaned his forehead against hers.

“I’m so in love with you - you have to know,” he breathed into the space between them. A strangled sound came unbidden from Marie’s throat as she closed the distance again, kissing him like it could finally put air back into her lungs. They could have stayed wrapped up in each other just like that for the rest of their lives if given the opportunity. 

“Hey idiots,” Suze called, “I’m proud of you for actually talking like adults, but if you don’t get your asses on that stage the audience is going to tear down this building.” 

Marie glanced over to see Suze standing next to them with a fondly irritated expression on her face, holding out Andrew’s guitar to him. The drum tech was nowhere to be seen, likely having chosen to quit on the spot. Marie didn’t entirely blame the poor man. 

“Oh shit,” Andrew muttered, like he had just realized where he was. Marie knew the feeling. She smiled up at him and he grinned back, lost in each other for another moment.

“Oh wow, you guys are gonna be so gross, I can tell. I already regret facilitating this,” Suze pantomimed throwing up onto the floor. Marie snorted as Andrew sheepishly took back his guitar. He turned back to give her one last smile before heading towards the stage when something pinged in Marie’s brain.

“Wait,” she said, grabbing his arm. He turned back quizzically. She smiled at him again and popped up onto her toes. Carefully, she ran her thumb over his lips, and Andrew’s eyes fluttered shut as he pressed a kiss to the pad of her thumb. Marie huffed a laugh.

“No, dumbass, I’m trying to get my lipstick off of you before you go on stage,” she rolled her eyes fondly. To her right, Suze snorted and turned to go back up the stairs.

“Oh,” muttered Andrew, embarrassed. 

“No worries, love, plenty of time for that,” she glanced up into his eyes with a smirk, “it’s a hotel night. There - all done,” she announced, taking a step back. Andrew seemed a little dazed, which made her smirk even more.

“You have two songs to go, first,” she reminded him. With that, she turned to walk up to the stage, knowing that he would follow her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so, so much for sticking with this fic. I love Marie like she's someone I know and it means the world to me that other people like her. This chapter took so much longer to write because I really needed it to feel right to me. This fic is my baby and has become a personal journey for me in more ways than I can say. On a far too personal note, much of this chapter is owed to me falling in love in a way I had no idea I was capable of. I had to let go of a lot of my fear and this chapter became what it became because of that. Marie gets her happy ending because I'm starting to believe those can be real. I sure hope they are.
> 
> Stay tuned because there's one more chapter, mostly smutty fluffy loose ends and an epilogue. I may or may not write oneshots in this universe after this, I really enjoyed writing "dream a little dream"
> 
> Please please please let me know if you liked this fic! Comments and tumblr asks were the only reason this chapter got finished and your feedback means the absolute world to me! My tumblr is @ stilllivingroots if you wanna pester me outside of AO3. I love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to read the rest of it, leave me a comment or a kudos!


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